The bug that I've been avoiding has increased its potency today and I'm seeking refuge here at home, in front of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and lots of hot tea. Dan is fetching me some hot/sour soup and several egg rolls -- my favorite comfort food.
Today, though, is a red letter day...I was celebrated as #1 director at an area conference...I'm very excited, but more excited for the renewed vision that I've discovered these last few months.
Some decisions you find yourself making with little or no thought...like what entree to order or what drink to have. They seem meaningless, but over time they create habits -- good or bad -- and they continue. I've identified some really bad habits -- destructive habits -- that I've had and am forced to make some changes. This will be extremely hard, but I've already taken the first step...deciding upon a new change that I will start tomorrow. Stay tuned.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
Friday, February 04, 2005
"The Kite Runner"
I'm finishing the book, "The Kite Runner" and it is a wonderful experience. I've not been feeling well the last half of the week and while I've been plodding around in my office, getting out from under the month end avalanche as well as preparing for new month, I've been listening to this story. It has taken my mind off being sick.
Some truly amazing things have begun to happen in my business and I'm so thankful that I stayed in the mode during some challenging times. I like to say that the true measure of a leader is how well things go when they are not around...To that end, I assisted in developing a local workshop that now has a life of its own. It is very gratifying to see a project not only get off the ground but take on its own form and its own life after one has "let go" of the leadership strings. To me, this kind of success gives me great joy because I believe it says that others are being used in their gifts and their own success.
I am able now to firmly look to the year end goals that I have projected. We still have a lot of work to do, but I'm feeling more rejuvenated and more excited than in a long time. I truly feel that the first decade of my professional life has brought its share of success and challenges and that all can be learned from. I tend to make the same mistake a few times before I learn the lesson, though.
The next five years are important years as I take new steps in my professional life, launch my children into their own lives and celebrate almost a quarter centennial married to Dan. I do expect there to be some challenges to these important milestones and yet I welcome the challenges and the inevitable lessons that will come.
In short, bring it on.
Some truly amazing things have begun to happen in my business and I'm so thankful that I stayed in the mode during some challenging times. I like to say that the true measure of a leader is how well things go when they are not around...To that end, I assisted in developing a local workshop that now has a life of its own. It is very gratifying to see a project not only get off the ground but take on its own form and its own life after one has "let go" of the leadership strings. To me, this kind of success gives me great joy because I believe it says that others are being used in their gifts and their own success.
I am able now to firmly look to the year end goals that I have projected. We still have a lot of work to do, but I'm feeling more rejuvenated and more excited than in a long time. I truly feel that the first decade of my professional life has brought its share of success and challenges and that all can be learned from. I tend to make the same mistake a few times before I learn the lesson, though.
The next five years are important years as I take new steps in my professional life, launch my children into their own lives and celebrate almost a quarter centennial married to Dan. I do expect there to be some challenges to these important milestones and yet I welcome the challenges and the inevitable lessons that will come.
In short, bring it on.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Parenting for Dummies
We're at full-tilt teenage cruise. That is, my kids are now fully teenagers and the fun has just begun.
I find myself sitting back and thinking a lot about my own teenage years. It humbles me a bit before I get too much in their faces. It brings me back short to remember "when".
Still, my job as a parent is to provide less of a guide at this point and more of a direction. I liken it to sledding. The direction is not always the question, but avoiding obstacles is. It's as if I sit behind my kids, with my arms around them, ticking off debris and pulling back or forth for the right momentum. Yes, that is it exactly.
We are fully discovering the art of maniupulation by young people intent on having their way. The performances are lively, interesting and always challenging. Like when they were little, I always get requests when I'm involved in other conversations -- on the phone, especially -- so now the rule is, "If you want a quick 'no', ask me when I'm on the phone (or otherwise engaged)."
There is no job that puts you more in front of yourself, with all your demons, ambitions, desires and dreams than the job of being a parent. You confront yourself and your fears each time they walk in the door, or worse, when they leave. I use to think that all the rules at church, work, school were created by adults that clearly had their own childhood/adolescence in mind. Now, I'm sure of it. Being a parent means that you realize not only the magnitude but also the potential for major life mistakes...and probably, you've already experienced them.
I believe good parenting is like renting a house...you know your role isn't permanent and that you have to keep it nice for the next folks that move in. My kids are now well on their way to their own lives and the people with whom they "do life with" will more or less, pick up the slack on what I did -- and did not -- teach them. I've thought a good deal about situations that we might encounter as they make their own life choices.
I hope to be the kind of parent that communicates love regardless of lifestyle or profession. I hope that my kids know that their life is THEIR LIFE, and not some version of my own. I hope most of all that my own demons don't haunt them or hold them hostage. In short, my job as their parent is to make myself unneeded and, hopefully, unwanted. I would not want my kids to "miss me" too much when I'm gone...I hope that they remember good times and funny times but I want them to move on with their lives with what they rec'd from me, not running from some tyrannical idea of what they might think I would want.
Every job I've ever done pale in comparision to the energy, committment, joy and pain with parenthood. I pray that God raises these kids in spite of me.
I find myself sitting back and thinking a lot about my own teenage years. It humbles me a bit before I get too much in their faces. It brings me back short to remember "when".
Still, my job as a parent is to provide less of a guide at this point and more of a direction. I liken it to sledding. The direction is not always the question, but avoiding obstacles is. It's as if I sit behind my kids, with my arms around them, ticking off debris and pulling back or forth for the right momentum. Yes, that is it exactly.
We are fully discovering the art of maniupulation by young people intent on having their way. The performances are lively, interesting and always challenging. Like when they were little, I always get requests when I'm involved in other conversations -- on the phone, especially -- so now the rule is, "If you want a quick 'no', ask me when I'm on the phone (or otherwise engaged)."
There is no job that puts you more in front of yourself, with all your demons, ambitions, desires and dreams than the job of being a parent. You confront yourself and your fears each time they walk in the door, or worse, when they leave. I use to think that all the rules at church, work, school were created by adults that clearly had their own childhood/adolescence in mind. Now, I'm sure of it. Being a parent means that you realize not only the magnitude but also the potential for major life mistakes...and probably, you've already experienced them.
I believe good parenting is like renting a house...you know your role isn't permanent and that you have to keep it nice for the next folks that move in. My kids are now well on their way to their own lives and the people with whom they "do life with" will more or less, pick up the slack on what I did -- and did not -- teach them. I've thought a good deal about situations that we might encounter as they make their own life choices.
I hope to be the kind of parent that communicates love regardless of lifestyle or profession. I hope that my kids know that their life is THEIR LIFE, and not some version of my own. I hope most of all that my own demons don't haunt them or hold them hostage. In short, my job as their parent is to make myself unneeded and, hopefully, unwanted. I would not want my kids to "miss me" too much when I'm gone...I hope that they remember good times and funny times but I want them to move on with their lives with what they rec'd from me, not running from some tyrannical idea of what they might think I would want.
Every job I've ever done pale in comparision to the energy, committment, joy and pain with parenthood. I pray that God raises these kids in spite of me.
Target acquired
We did it. We hit the mark. I'm taking the day off to plan, write and enjoy the moment.
Monday, January 31, 2005
Funny thing happened today...
Once a week, I attend a Toastmasters meeting, which is a group that works to build
speaking ability. I've been a member for a couple of years now and I enjoy my group very
much. Today something really funny happened ...I'll try to explain it...
Each week, there is a "table topics" session, where the table topics "master" asks questions to members of the group at random, thereby encouraging members to "think on their feet". Content is not as important as clarity. It is always an interesting part of the meeting...and one that most people dread.
It was my turn to be "table topics master"...I thought it appropriate to ask questions regarding the historic turn of events in Iraq. I figured that everyone was watching the events in Iraq as I was...to me this is as historic an event (with as many possible consequences) as the "take down the wall" thingy with President Reagan and Gorbechev.
One of my favorite people in this really fun group was talking during my profoundly worded question...so guess what? He got to get the question. When I called his name, he spun his head around as if he were an 9 year old math student who had forgotten his homework.
He then proceeded to do the best job of bs-ing with table topics that I've ever seen. It was, truly, a masterpiece (and I do regard myself somewhat of an expert in this domain). He was flawless, he was confident, he did the best job of saying absolutely nothing with so much drama and interest, it was Oscar-worthy.
We had a great laugh about it afterwards...and I know, paybacks are coming.
speaking ability. I've been a member for a couple of years now and I enjoy my group very
much. Today something really funny happened ...I'll try to explain it...
Each week, there is a "table topics" session, where the table topics "master" asks questions to members of the group at random, thereby encouraging members to "think on their feet". Content is not as important as clarity. It is always an interesting part of the meeting...and one that most people dread.
It was my turn to be "table topics master"...I thought it appropriate to ask questions regarding the historic turn of events in Iraq. I figured that everyone was watching the events in Iraq as I was...to me this is as historic an event (with as many possible consequences) as the "take down the wall" thingy with President Reagan and Gorbechev.
One of my favorite people in this really fun group was talking during my profoundly worded question...so guess what? He got to get the question. When I called his name, he spun his head around as if he were an 9 year old math student who had forgotten his homework.
He then proceeded to do the best job of bs-ing with table topics that I've ever seen. It was, truly, a masterpiece (and I do regard myself somewhat of an expert in this domain). He was flawless, he was confident, he did the best job of saying absolutely nothing with so much drama and interest, it was Oscar-worthy.
We had a great laugh about it afterwards...and I know, paybacks are coming.
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Prayer concert?
Why do things dealing with prayer usually manifest themsleves in glorified devos? Who decides what the "sounds of family" sound like? Would my teenager banging on drums be the "sound of family?" If not, why not?
Why are we so dull, so lacking in creativity? Why do only two people get to "plan" events like this? Who gets to drink the Kool-Aid and who gets to be left out?
Why are we so hung up on "leaving out others" so that egos can be assauged? What ever happened to building people and allowing free expression of gifts? Why do the only people who get to be built up also get to be paid for doing it? Is that service?
Why do we allow such great opportunities to be defined by less-than-mediocre experiences?
For me, watching my Jewish friends pray with their prayer shawls, teaches me more about prayer than anything I've ever learned in a "christian" church.
Why are we so dull, so lacking in creativity? Why do only two people get to "plan" events like this? Who gets to drink the Kool-Aid and who gets to be left out?
Why are we so hung up on "leaving out others" so that egos can be assauged? What ever happened to building people and allowing free expression of gifts? Why do the only people who get to be built up also get to be paid for doing it? Is that service?
Why do we allow such great opportunities to be defined by less-than-mediocre experiences?
For me, watching my Jewish friends pray with their prayer shawls, teaches me more about prayer than anything I've ever learned in a "christian" church.
The Crying Game
If you go to see "Million $ Baby" with Morgan Freeman, Clint Eastwood and Hilary Swank, take a few boxes of kleenex.
Makeup -- even waterproof - has no prayer with this one.
I love movies and stories where not everything is said...that there are some mysteries to what happens...this story leaves you to fill in blanks about relationships. The imagination is always better than the real thing, and this movie allows you to imagine and create powerful ideas about the intricacies of plot.
It is a first-rate movie for all three actors...Hilary Swank gets my vote just for playing roles that aren't always "pretty". The only distraction in the movie is from a sub-actor (Danger) who goes a little too far in his rendition of an Arkansas hillbilly.
The scene where Hilary (Maggie) gives her welfare mother a house is so realistic, so true to what I have personally experienced that it resonated inherently with me. Dead on.
All characters in the movie have their issues, their challenges. Life has beaten them all down and all are fighting for something...and as you watch it, you realize that you, too, are fighting..that we all are fighting ...for a chance, for a blessing, for anything that tells us "we had our shot".
Great movie-making and a great movie-going experience.
Makeup -- even waterproof - has no prayer with this one.
I love movies and stories where not everything is said...that there are some mysteries to what happens...this story leaves you to fill in blanks about relationships. The imagination is always better than the real thing, and this movie allows you to imagine and create powerful ideas about the intricacies of plot.
It is a first-rate movie for all three actors...Hilary Swank gets my vote just for playing roles that aren't always "pretty". The only distraction in the movie is from a sub-actor (Danger) who goes a little too far in his rendition of an Arkansas hillbilly.
The scene where Hilary (Maggie) gives her welfare mother a house is so realistic, so true to what I have personally experienced that it resonated inherently with me. Dead on.
All characters in the movie have their issues, their challenges. Life has beaten them all down and all are fighting for something...and as you watch it, you realize that you, too, are fighting..that we all are fighting ...for a chance, for a blessing, for anything that tells us "we had our shot".
Great movie-making and a great movie-going experience.
More on "Gilead"
I spent two hours this morning re-reading the story of Jacob and Laband their covenant at Gilead, which helped me considerably unlock the intention of the book that I now adore, "Gilead".
I read it during the sermon this morning ....I can't put it down. I can visualize the actors in the play or movie that might come from it...Robert DuVall would be perfect as Ames and someone like Anthony Hopkins would be great for Boughton. I haven't decided yet on who would be right for the part of Jack...someone smug like a Ed Wood could pull it off.
It's a great novel, of which I am sure I cannot even begin to give it its fair due. I try to read some of the scenes out loud to Dan, he smiles and shows some interest, but he doesn't get it yet.
Although church wasn't all a waste of time...there was a baby dedication and some w/f (my acronym for 'warm and fuzzy') music played and I thought about my father or lack thereof...and then I thought how God does really provide..how he has given me Dan's dad what I like to call my "second chance dad" and I realize he did really provide for me above all. I can't always see that God does that..and it wasn't in the way I thought God might have done. I've spent considerable time being upset with Him on the whole way he handled my family...I think He could have done a better job at that...but in the end, He is God and I'm not..and He does provide and I should be more thoughtful of that than I am.
I read it during the sermon this morning ....I can't put it down. I can visualize the actors in the play or movie that might come from it...Robert DuVall would be perfect as Ames and someone like Anthony Hopkins would be great for Boughton. I haven't decided yet on who would be right for the part of Jack...someone smug like a Ed Wood could pull it off.
It's a great novel, of which I am sure I cannot even begin to give it its fair due. I try to read some of the scenes out loud to Dan, he smiles and shows some interest, but he doesn't get it yet.
Although church wasn't all a waste of time...there was a baby dedication and some w/f (my acronym for 'warm and fuzzy') music played and I thought about my father or lack thereof...and then I thought how God does really provide..how he has given me Dan's dad what I like to call my "second chance dad" and I realize he did really provide for me above all. I can't always see that God does that..and it wasn't in the way I thought God might have done. I've spent considerable time being upset with Him on the whole way he handled my family...I think He could have done a better job at that...but in the end, He is God and I'm not..and He does provide and I should be more thoughtful of that than I am.
Saturday, January 29, 2005
"Gilead"
I discoverd a book that is mesmorizing. The author, Marilynne Robinson, has earned a PEN/Hemingway Award and teaches at the Iowa Writer's Workshop. I am captivated by the simply lyrical prose of this novel and know that I will be recommending it to many. Rich and vast, it talks about what most great novels talk about -- relationships and people and God...is there really anything else?
Gilead: A Novel
Gilead: A Novel
Finding God in the Questions
I am re-reading Dr. Timothy Johnson's book, "Finding God in the Questions"...this is my third pass through it.
It isn't the theology that is represented, but his declaration that he believes it is not "right" for him to be leading the kind of lavish life he lives while so many others in the world feel the effects of poverty.
This kind of thinking really challenges me. I will try to express my thoughts here.
First of all, growing up in poverty is not fun. I remember distinctly sitting in school and being called out to the "free lunch" program and was mortified. I was shamed. (This is before more political ways of doing things were much in effect.).
I also remember going to church and having the minister's daughter say to me, "I use to have a dress just like that..." and being shamed again at realizing that I was wearing her cast off.
These are real and life-changing moments for me. I grew up hating that I was poor, vowing that I would someday never have to have this kind of embarressment again.
And for the most part I have succeeded. Sure, there are all kinds of trappings. There are many distractions.
But there is no righteousness in poverty, per se. In fact, some of the most materialistic people I've ever seen were those that had very little.
And on the other side, I have dined with the very wealthy in my sweats on a table in their living room, eating cold pizza and felt a kind of warmth and companionship that I hadn't known before.
I don't think it is the money that determines the person. Indeed, I believe it is the attitude towards money that determines the course.
There is a great line in the movie "Aviator" when Howard Hughes responds to the statement, "We don't care a lick about money.." he says, "That's because you've always had it.."
And I think that is right on...people who have had always had money, who've never had to work for it really, who've never had to worry about if they would eat or if they would have something to wear, can luxuriate and romanticize the condition of poverty. They can look down their noses at those "less fortunate" than themselves and treat those in poverty with a kind of child-like wonder.
But it is my opinion that this does no one any real good. I believe that how one considers money -- whether they are tight fisted or free -- determines their heart about their faith and in God's providence.
I think Dr. Johnson is getting to the ideas...and I'm still hanging onto his "answers"...it is great stuff and really making me think...
It isn't the theology that is represented, but his declaration that he believes it is not "right" for him to be leading the kind of lavish life he lives while so many others in the world feel the effects of poverty.
This kind of thinking really challenges me. I will try to express my thoughts here.
First of all, growing up in poverty is not fun. I remember distinctly sitting in school and being called out to the "free lunch" program and was mortified. I was shamed. (This is before more political ways of doing things were much in effect.).
I also remember going to church and having the minister's daughter say to me, "I use to have a dress just like that..." and being shamed again at realizing that I was wearing her cast off.
These are real and life-changing moments for me. I grew up hating that I was poor, vowing that I would someday never have to have this kind of embarressment again.
And for the most part I have succeeded. Sure, there are all kinds of trappings. There are many distractions.
But there is no righteousness in poverty, per se. In fact, some of the most materialistic people I've ever seen were those that had very little.
And on the other side, I have dined with the very wealthy in my sweats on a table in their living room, eating cold pizza and felt a kind of warmth and companionship that I hadn't known before.
I don't think it is the money that determines the person. Indeed, I believe it is the attitude towards money that determines the course.
There is a great line in the movie "Aviator" when Howard Hughes responds to the statement, "We don't care a lick about money.." he says, "That's because you've always had it.."
And I think that is right on...people who have had always had money, who've never had to work for it really, who've never had to worry about if they would eat or if they would have something to wear, can luxuriate and romanticize the condition of poverty. They can look down their noses at those "less fortunate" than themselves and treat those in poverty with a kind of child-like wonder.
But it is my opinion that this does no one any real good. I believe that how one considers money -- whether they are tight fisted or free -- determines their heart about their faith and in God's providence.
I think Dr. Johnson is getting to the ideas...and I'm still hanging onto his "answers"...it is great stuff and really making me think...
Friday, January 28, 2005
"Sideways"
What can I say about the film, "Sideways"? You have to be middle-aged to appreciate it, would be my first thought.
Next, you have to be a middle-aged loser to appreciate it...but then, that is getting kind of personal, isn't it?
Sure, it's a "buddy" movie and it's about men and their foibles, but on a deeper level it is about all of us and what we fear -- that somehow our lives won't matter much and we'll be left alone.
There is much more than can -- and will be -- said about this film, with its metaphors about wine...but it is a film that is worth seeing and best of all, thinking about.
Next, you have to be a middle-aged loser to appreciate it...but then, that is getting kind of personal, isn't it?
Sure, it's a "buddy" movie and it's about men and their foibles, but on a deeper level it is about all of us and what we fear -- that somehow our lives won't matter much and we'll be left alone.
There is much more than can -- and will be -- said about this film, with its metaphors about wine...but it is a film that is worth seeing and best of all, thinking about.
Further Along the Road Less Traveled
From M. Scott Peck (via. Timothy Johnson, "Finding God in the Questions")
"I was absolutely thunderstruck by the extraordinary reality of the man I found in the Gospels...I discovered a man so incredibly real that no one could have made Him up. It occurred to me then that if the Gospel writers had been into PR and embellishment, as I had assumed, they would have created the kind of Jesus three quarters of Christians still seem to be trying to create...portrayed with a sweet, unending smile on His face, patting little children on the head, just strolling the earth with this unflappable, unshakable equanimity...But the Jesus of the Gospels-- who some suggest is the best-kept secret of Christianity--did not have much "peace of mind," as we ordinarily think of peace of mind in the world's terms, and insofar as we can be His followers, perhaps we won't either...It is as if most Christians haven't read the Gospels, and most Christian clergy are not even able to preach the real truth of the Gospels, because if they did, their congregations would flee out the door."
"I was absolutely thunderstruck by the extraordinary reality of the man I found in the Gospels...I discovered a man so incredibly real that no one could have made Him up. It occurred to me then that if the Gospel writers had been into PR and embellishment, as I had assumed, they would have created the kind of Jesus three quarters of Christians still seem to be trying to create...portrayed with a sweet, unending smile on His face, patting little children on the head, just strolling the earth with this unflappable, unshakable equanimity...But the Jesus of the Gospels-- who some suggest is the best-kept secret of Christianity--did not have much "peace of mind," as we ordinarily think of peace of mind in the world's terms, and insofar as we can be His followers, perhaps we won't either...It is as if most Christians haven't read the Gospels, and most Christian clergy are not even able to preach the real truth of the Gospels, because if they did, their congregations would flee out the door."
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Finding God in the Questions
1.
Finding God in the Questions: A Personal Journey
Dr. Timothy Johnson explores his faith and his spiritual journey in this book. I find it profoundly readable and it resonates with me on many levels. Here's a quote from the introduction:
"Personally, I cannot imagine ignoring or avoiding modern scholarship of any kind, whether in medicine or religion. That doesn't mean I agree with everything churned out by either scientific research or religious scholarshp. But it does mean that I believe the God of truth expects us to be open to new ideas and new research and honor the path of truth-seeking wherever it might lead..."
Finding God in the Questions: A Personal Journey
Dr. Timothy Johnson explores his faith and his spiritual journey in this book. I find it profoundly readable and it resonates with me on many levels. Here's a quote from the introduction:
"Personally, I cannot imagine ignoring or avoiding modern scholarship of any kind, whether in medicine or religion. That doesn't mean I agree with everything churned out by either scientific research or religious scholarshp. But it does mean that I believe the God of truth expects us to be open to new ideas and new research and honor the path of truth-seeking wherever it might lead..."
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
ten puns
Here are the 10 first place winners in the International Pun Contest#1 -- A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. Thestewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowedper passenger."#2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says,"Dam!"#3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in thecraft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have yourkayak and heat it too.#4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The othersays "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."#5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a rootcanal? His goal: transcend dental medication.#6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing inthe lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?"they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nutsboasting in an open foyer."#7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to afamily in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain;they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to hisbirth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that shewishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They'retwins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."#8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up asmall florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers fromthe men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition wasunfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He wentback and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival floristhired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to"persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store,saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so,thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.#9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, whichproduced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little,which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from badbreath. This made him ...... (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good).....Asuper calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.#10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to hisfriends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.No pun in ten did.
You'll know him as the "Murine" guy
...or the guy who starred with Jim Carrey in the Mask..."metephorically speaking.." He has written for E!line...for about 8 years...this is his last column.
How Can Someone Who Lives in Insane Luxury Be a Star in Today's World?
As I begin to write this, I "slug" it, as we writers say, which means I
put a heading on top of the document to identify it. This heading is
"eonlineFINAL," and it gives me a shiver to write it. I have been doing
this column for so long that I cannot even recall when I started. I loved
writing this column so much for so long I came to believe it would never
end.
It worked well for a long time, but gradually, my changing as a person and
the world's change have overtaken it. On a small scale, Morton's, while
better than ever, no longer attracts as many stars as it used to. It still
brings in the rich people in droves and definitely some stars. I saw
Samuel L. Jackson there a few days ago, and we had a nice visit, and right
before that, I saw and had a splendid talk with Warren Beatty in an
elevator, in which we agreed that Splendor in the Grass was a super movie.
But Morton's is not the star galaxy it once was, though it probably will
be again.
Beyond that, a bigger change has happened. I no longer think Hollywood
stars are terribly important. They are uniformly pleasant, friendly
people, and they treat me better than I deserve to be treated. But a man
or woman who makes a huge wage for memorizing lines and reciting them in
front of a camera is no longer my idea of a shining star we should all
look up to.
How can a man or woman who makes an eight-figure wage and lives in insane
luxury really be a star in today's world, if by a "star" we mean someone
bright and powerful and attractive as a role model? Real stars are not
riding around in the backs of limousines or in Porsches or getting trained
in yoga or Pilates and eating only raw fruit while they have Vietnamese
girls do their nails.
They can be interesting, nice people, but they are not heroes to me any
longer. A real star is the soldier of the 4th Infantry Division who poked
his head into a hole on a farm near Tikrit, Iraq. He could have been met
by a bomb or a hail of AK-47 bullets. Instead, he faced an abject Saddam
Hussein and the gratitude of all of the decent people of the world.
A real star is the U.S. soldier who was sent to disarm a bomb next to a
road north of Baghdad. He approached it, and the bomb went off and killed
him.
A real star, the kind who haunts my memory night and day, is the U.S.
soldier in Baghdad who saw a little girl playing with a piece of
unexploded ordnance on a street near where he was guarding a station. He
pushed her aside and threw himself on it just as it exploded. He left a
family desolate in California and a little girl alive in Baghdad.
The stars who deserve media attention are not the ones who have lavish
weddings on TV but the ones who patrol the streets of Mosul even after two
of their buddies were murdered and their bodies battered and stripped for
the sin of trying to protect Iraqis from terrorists.
We put couples with incomes of $100 million a year on the covers of our
magazines. The noncoms and officers who barely scrape by on military pay
but stand on guard in Afghanistan and Iraq and on ships and in submarines
and near the Arctic Circle are anonymous as they live and die.
I am no longer comfortable being a part of the system that has such poor
values, and I do not want to perpetuate those values by pretending that
who is eating at Morton's is a big subject.
There are plenty of other stars in the American firmament...the policemen
and women who go off on patrol in South Central and have no idea if they
will return alive; the orderlies and paramedics who bring in people who
have been in terrible accidents and prepare them for surgery; the teachers
and nurses who throw their whole spirits into caring for autistic
children; the kind men and women who work in hospices and in cancer wards.
Think of each and every fireman who was running up the stairs at the World
Trade Center as the towers began to collapse. Now you have my idea of a
real hero.
We are not responsible for the operation of the universe, and what happens
to us is not terribly important. God is real, not a fiction; and when we
turn over our lives to Him, He takes far better care of us than we could
ever do for ourselves. In a word, we make ourselves sane when we fire
ourselves as the directors of the movie of our lives and turn the power
over to Him.
I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that
matters. This is my highest and best use as a human. I can put it another
way. Years ago, I realized I could never be as great an actor as Olivier
or as good a comic as Steve Martin...or Martin Mull or Fred Willard--or as
good an economist as Samuelson or Friedman or as good a writer as
Fitzgerald. Or even remotely close to any of them.
But I could be a devoted father to my son, husband to my wife and, above
all, a good son to the parents who had done so much for me. This came to
be my main task in life. I did it moderately well with my son, pretty well
with my wife and well indeed with my parents (with my sister's help). I
cared for and paid attention to them in their declining years. I stayed
with my father as he got sick, went into extremis and then into a coma and
then entered immortality with my sister and me reading him the Psalms.
This was the only point at which my life touched the lives of the soldiers
in Iraq or the firefighters in New York. I came to realize that life lived
to help others is the only one that matters and that it is my duty, in
return for the lavish life God has devolved upon me, to help others He has
placed in my path. This is my highest and best use as a human.
Faith is not believing that God can. It is knowing that God will.
By Ben Stein
How Can Someone Who Lives in Insane Luxury Be a Star in Today's World?
As I begin to write this, I "slug" it, as we writers say, which means I
put a heading on top of the document to identify it. This heading is
"eonlineFINAL," and it gives me a shiver to write it. I have been doing
this column for so long that I cannot even recall when I started. I loved
writing this column so much for so long I came to believe it would never
end.
It worked well for a long time, but gradually, my changing as a person and
the world's change have overtaken it. On a small scale, Morton's, while
better than ever, no longer attracts as many stars as it used to. It still
brings in the rich people in droves and definitely some stars. I saw
Samuel L. Jackson there a few days ago, and we had a nice visit, and right
before that, I saw and had a splendid talk with Warren Beatty in an
elevator, in which we agreed that Splendor in the Grass was a super movie.
But Morton's is not the star galaxy it once was, though it probably will
be again.
Beyond that, a bigger change has happened. I no longer think Hollywood
stars are terribly important. They are uniformly pleasant, friendly
people, and they treat me better than I deserve to be treated. But a man
or woman who makes a huge wage for memorizing lines and reciting them in
front of a camera is no longer my idea of a shining star we should all
look up to.
How can a man or woman who makes an eight-figure wage and lives in insane
luxury really be a star in today's world, if by a "star" we mean someone
bright and powerful and attractive as a role model? Real stars are not
riding around in the backs of limousines or in Porsches or getting trained
in yoga or Pilates and eating only raw fruit while they have Vietnamese
girls do their nails.
They can be interesting, nice people, but they are not heroes to me any
longer. A real star is the soldier of the 4th Infantry Division who poked
his head into a hole on a farm near Tikrit, Iraq. He could have been met
by a bomb or a hail of AK-47 bullets. Instead, he faced an abject Saddam
Hussein and the gratitude of all of the decent people of the world.
A real star is the U.S. soldier who was sent to disarm a bomb next to a
road north of Baghdad. He approached it, and the bomb went off and killed
him.
A real star, the kind who haunts my memory night and day, is the U.S.
soldier in Baghdad who saw a little girl playing with a piece of
unexploded ordnance on a street near where he was guarding a station. He
pushed her aside and threw himself on it just as it exploded. He left a
family desolate in California and a little girl alive in Baghdad.
The stars who deserve media attention are not the ones who have lavish
weddings on TV but the ones who patrol the streets of Mosul even after two
of their buddies were murdered and their bodies battered and stripped for
the sin of trying to protect Iraqis from terrorists.
We put couples with incomes of $100 million a year on the covers of our
magazines. The noncoms and officers who barely scrape by on military pay
but stand on guard in Afghanistan and Iraq and on ships and in submarines
and near the Arctic Circle are anonymous as they live and die.
I am no longer comfortable being a part of the system that has such poor
values, and I do not want to perpetuate those values by pretending that
who is eating at Morton's is a big subject.
There are plenty of other stars in the American firmament...the policemen
and women who go off on patrol in South Central and have no idea if they
will return alive; the orderlies and paramedics who bring in people who
have been in terrible accidents and prepare them for surgery; the teachers
and nurses who throw their whole spirits into caring for autistic
children; the kind men and women who work in hospices and in cancer wards.
Think of each and every fireman who was running up the stairs at the World
Trade Center as the towers began to collapse. Now you have my idea of a
real hero.
We are not responsible for the operation of the universe, and what happens
to us is not terribly important. God is real, not a fiction; and when we
turn over our lives to Him, He takes far better care of us than we could
ever do for ourselves. In a word, we make ourselves sane when we fire
ourselves as the directors of the movie of our lives and turn the power
over to Him.
I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that
matters. This is my highest and best use as a human. I can put it another
way. Years ago, I realized I could never be as great an actor as Olivier
or as good a comic as Steve Martin...or Martin Mull or Fred Willard--or as
good an economist as Samuelson or Friedman or as good a writer as
Fitzgerald. Or even remotely close to any of them.
But I could be a devoted father to my son, husband to my wife and, above
all, a good son to the parents who had done so much for me. This came to
be my main task in life. I did it moderately well with my son, pretty well
with my wife and well indeed with my parents (with my sister's help). I
cared for and paid attention to them in their declining years. I stayed
with my father as he got sick, went into extremis and then into a coma and
then entered immortality with my sister and me reading him the Psalms.
This was the only point at which my life touched the lives of the soldiers
in Iraq or the firefighters in New York. I came to realize that life lived
to help others is the only one that matters and that it is my duty, in
return for the lavish life God has devolved upon me, to help others He has
placed in my path. This is my highest and best use as a human.
Faith is not believing that God can. It is knowing that God will.
By Ben Stein
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
New comic
I discovered a new comic this weekend, Jimmy Carr...
www.jimmycarr.com
He is british with an amazing wit...he is refreshing and different...and from what I can tell, quite "clean"...I bet he'll be popping up more and more.
Some girls like rock stars, I like comics...they can make me laugh and think. One time, I entered a comedy contest in KC and won and got to spend time with some of the comics that were "on the road". A very different breed, but very interesting. One guy said, that all comics are social satirist (I'm not sure I agree) but he went on to say that the idea behind good comedy is you can shove an idea down the audience's throat while they are laughing...which is easier to do then when they are angry.
There's a lot to that...maybe more preachers ought to take notice. I'd much rather be laughed into an idea than be stonewalled into it.
www.jimmycarr.com
He is british with an amazing wit...he is refreshing and different...and from what I can tell, quite "clean"...I bet he'll be popping up more and more.
Some girls like rock stars, I like comics...they can make me laugh and think. One time, I entered a comedy contest in KC and won and got to spend time with some of the comics that were "on the road". A very different breed, but very interesting. One guy said, that all comics are social satirist (I'm not sure I agree) but he went on to say that the idea behind good comedy is you can shove an idea down the audience's throat while they are laughing...which is easier to do then when they are angry.
There's a lot to that...maybe more preachers ought to take notice. I'd much rather be laughed into an idea than be stonewalled into it.
My birthday
Tomorrow is my 41st birthday. I am celebrating by being with friends and getting into some books that I've been wanting to read.
One book that is from a series, "Meditative Prayer" by Richard Peace and I've been listening to "The Kite Runner" on audible. I also am eager to read "Finding God in the Questions" by Dr. Timothy Johnson.
There are still many questions I haven't answered for my life yet...some have been particularly persistent of late. The greatest gifts of my life so far -- no contest...my husband, Dan and my children, Nathan and Ellen. Each day these people that God has seen to share with me for my life are dearer and dearer.
One book that is from a series, "Meditative Prayer" by Richard Peace and I've been listening to "The Kite Runner" on audible. I also am eager to read "Finding God in the Questions" by Dr. Timothy Johnson.
There are still many questions I haven't answered for my life yet...some have been particularly persistent of late. The greatest gifts of my life so far -- no contest...my husband, Dan and my children, Nathan and Ellen. Each day these people that God has seen to share with me for my life are dearer and dearer.
Monday, January 24, 2005
Johnny, you made me laugh
I cried today when I found out that Johnny Carson died this past weekend.
I watched Johnny Carson the way I watched Carol Burnett, which was faithfully. They both entered my childhood and taught me to laugh. Once I said to my dad, "I want to be on TV with Johnny Carson", and my dad picked me up and sat me on top of our old bunny-eared television. "There," he said, "you're on TV with Johnny Carson".
I have continued to watch the Tonight Show, though I favor David Letterman's acidic wit and timing. But I'm a huge fan of so many of Carson's projects, including Robin Williams, Ellen Degeneres, Bill Cosby.
What I admired about Johnny Carson was the way that he could save a show that was not making it. Once, I remembered, the jokes were so bad, he took a lighter from his pocket and set the script on fire. Another, when the jokes weren't killing, he reached up and pulled down the microphone and said, "testing, testing.." When you can get a laugh when no laugh is planned and do it with that kind of style, you are a genius.
I'll miss him.
I watched Johnny Carson the way I watched Carol Burnett, which was faithfully. They both entered my childhood and taught me to laugh. Once I said to my dad, "I want to be on TV with Johnny Carson", and my dad picked me up and sat me on top of our old bunny-eared television. "There," he said, "you're on TV with Johnny Carson".
I have continued to watch the Tonight Show, though I favor David Letterman's acidic wit and timing. But I'm a huge fan of so many of Carson's projects, including Robin Williams, Ellen Degeneres, Bill Cosby.
What I admired about Johnny Carson was the way that he could save a show that was not making it. Once, I remembered, the jokes were so bad, he took a lighter from his pocket and set the script on fire. Another, when the jokes weren't killing, he reached up and pulled down the microphone and said, "testing, testing.." When you can get a laugh when no laugh is planned and do it with that kind of style, you are a genius.
I'll miss him.
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Hotel Rwanda
I just viewed this movie with my husband Dan. It is a story that needs telling and the movie does an excellent job...www.hotelrwanda.com.
Here are some sobering facts regarding this tragedy:
Today, Rwanda's children face extreme challenges:
Rwanda is home to one of the world's largest proportions of child-headed households, with an estimated 101,000 children living in 42,000 households. These children are on-their-own either because their parents were killed in the genocide, have died from AIDS, or have been imprisoned for genocide-related crimes.
Two thousand women, many of whom were survivors of rape, were tested for HIV during the five years following the 1994 genocide. Of them 80 percent were found to be HIV positive, and many were not sexually active prior to the genocide.
By 2001, an estimated 264,000 children had lost one or both parents to AIDS, representing 43 percent of all orphans. This figure is expected to grow to over 350,000 by 2010.
More than 400,000 children are out of school.
Rwanda has one of the world's worst child mortality rates - 1 in 5 Rwandan children die before their fifth birthday.
There are so many questions that can be asked about such an event of this magnitude. Where was God? Where was the US?
I'm not sure that is the right question to ask, but it is one that does come to mind. I'm sure my feeble mind cannot encompass what happened and how it fits into any kind of logical explanation.
But this I do know...no one awakens one day and starts hacking their neighbors. What precedes such an event of this nature is something that we all experience each day. Hate, rage when misdirected can only produce such atrocities. And so, before I go pointing fingers, I have to realize that anytime I hate I am capable of such things myself.
That's a thought that brings me up cold.
Here are some sobering facts regarding this tragedy:
Today, Rwanda's children face extreme challenges:
Rwanda is home to one of the world's largest proportions of child-headed households, with an estimated 101,000 children living in 42,000 households. These children are on-their-own either because their parents were killed in the genocide, have died from AIDS, or have been imprisoned for genocide-related crimes.
Two thousand women, many of whom were survivors of rape, were tested for HIV during the five years following the 1994 genocide. Of them 80 percent were found to be HIV positive, and many were not sexually active prior to the genocide.
By 2001, an estimated 264,000 children had lost one or both parents to AIDS, representing 43 percent of all orphans. This figure is expected to grow to over 350,000 by 2010.
More than 400,000 children are out of school.
Rwanda has one of the world's worst child mortality rates - 1 in 5 Rwandan children die before their fifth birthday.
There are so many questions that can be asked about such an event of this magnitude. Where was God? Where was the US?
I'm not sure that is the right question to ask, but it is one that does come to mind. I'm sure my feeble mind cannot encompass what happened and how it fits into any kind of logical explanation.
But this I do know...no one awakens one day and starts hacking their neighbors. What precedes such an event of this nature is something that we all experience each day. Hate, rage when misdirected can only produce such atrocities. And so, before I go pointing fingers, I have to realize that anytime I hate I am capable of such things myself.
That's a thought that brings me up cold.
NYT must read
Check out www.nytimes.com/magazine for a great article on Jay Bakker and the postmodern congregation.
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