The Weight Gods Conspire

It use to be that I would walk into a store, spot a great outfit, say "I'll take that one.." and we'd be on our way.

Not so any more.

Something has happened that has made my body shift -- I don't mean just weight gain...I mean a cosmic shifting of the particles...there is wobbly bits where I use to didn't even have to pinch an inch.

My friends laugh at me and think there is some type of karma justice in all this. Having grown up a size 4, been most of my adult life a size 8, the weight Gods have decided it might be fun to throw me a little curve here in my mid life years. I can almost see them conspiring against me..

"Yes, she is going for the Bob Mackie, but he he he, she won't know herself once she gets those vertical lines across her touche..."

I didn't have to worry about cut, style...if it was in fashion, I wore it. Bring on the prints! I would search InStyle (still do) to see what was "hot"...find it in my store and wear it without a second thought. I didn't understand what was so hard about shopping and why so many of my friends would leave a store in tears.

Uh, now I do. I've joined the ranks of the middle aged, wobbly, frumpy, "can't find anything to wear" brigade.

Now, I have to look for a jacket length that is more, as the women in the store said yesterday, "more forgiving" around certain parts of my midriff.

I don't like that my mid riff has to be forgiven for what my mouth and tongue have done. That doesn't seem fair.

After 37 clothes changes, 3 sales assistants and more money that I ever orginally thought I'd pay, I did find the "perfect outfit"...it was a "slimming black" with a "distracting" bling bling at the top to "draw the eye away" from certain middle parts.

When I looked in the mirror at the store, I announced, "Let there be a moment of silence...for this forgiving cut on this suit.." And I hugged my new found friends (sales assistants...we exchanged recipies while I was trying on the clothes..) and was off. I was almost gleeful..never had I been so glad to get my purchase and be on my way.

19 years ago today...

My new husband and I were hoping to make our last minute flight to Florida for our honeymoon. Now, 19 years laters, I am sitting here blogging, while he and the kids enjoy the Orange Bowl. From around the corner from my office, I hear the "ahhhhhhggggh" and the "better get some defense going" that have become standard in my family of athletes.

Ealier tonight, Dan and I went to dinner and the waiter was all about NCAA basketball...he was from Kentucky...in an exchange that I could neither understand nor decipher there was something said between Dan and he that supposedly meant something to both of them, some form of "ath-talk" that men use to bond. I munched on my salmon and listened to this exchange wondering how it might measure up to cro-magnum man and his exchanges between his peers.

Cave man at the table: "Ugh. How 'bout them Sooners?"
Cave waiter: "Uggha. I'm a roundballer myself."
Cave man at the table: "Uggah. Uggah! Me too. Me like round ballers. Too bad your tribe took Tubby Smith from our tribe! More meat!"
Cave waiter: "Uggah. Not to mention Rick Patino...Uggah. Right away!"

This, translated means simply that "I recognize you as a male and I like you." or something like that.

I'm sure the Cave woman sat alongside, munching her kill, rolling her eyes, too.

31 Days of Praise and Worship

I am attempting to continue learning about christian meditation and prayer. I have chosen a small book on the Psalms and Proverbs to do this for the next 31 days. I will blog each day (to keep me accountable, I am sharing this...) on what these verses come to mean to me. I have to stress that I am learning, I'm crawling at this ancient art form, but it has already brought me sustainance on a level I have never experienced before.

I am attempting to add 20 minutes of exercise followed by 10 minutes of prayer/meditation. That doesn't sound like a lot, but it is something that is really difficult for me to do. I hope that by practicing, I can start doing longer times.

***

Psalms 1: 1 - 6. Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.

***

Words that stand out to me:

walk, stand, sit - we are physically present with God or God is physically present with us, either way, God is in our midst. God is in MY midst...or I'm in His...

delight, meditate - what is the connection here?

day and night -- God's abiding presence, never leaving me

tree, streams, water, fruit, leaf - imagery of life

Present with God, delighting in His presence brings life...

Juan and Estevan do IHOP

I sit in the middle of the greasy, crowded restaurant. The Sunday crowd has turned out in full, trying to hang out to the last bit of holiday cheer remaining in the last few hours of the holiday break.

In walk two men, good looking, sharp, with impeccable styling. They are dressed in the casual, but fashionable way, shoes even being on trend.

When two young men with great looking shoes walk into a restaurant together, there is only one thing to think: they must be from out of town.

And so they are...from Mexico, speaking fluent Spanish. I try to piece it together, snags here and there, but it is no use...I cannot speak Spanish, although I try. I can say a few phrases and so I try...I try to say hello.

They look at me, four eyes - four spanish eyes -- trying not to laugh. They succeed.

I then try the next phrase, "How are you?".

They respond, respectfully, "Good. What is your name?"

I say, "Maurie is my name. Your name is?"

They say, "Juan. And Estevan."

Then, I say -- or try to say, "I am hungry...", although in Spanish you say, "I have large hunger."

But I don't say that. I say something similar, but altogether different. I say, in Spanish, "I want a large man".

This time, they cannot help but laugh.

"No, they say, say it this way.." and they tell me what I have done, what I have said. We share a laugh and I try some more lines, all butchered, none quite right.

I am amazed how they, in a few short years, speak English so well, so beautifully. Perhaps they speak it even better than I might. I am ashamed at how terribly I have learned their language and I make a resolve to do it better.

I leave without eating. I have lost my appetite.