Public Service Announcement

I feel it is my duty to warn you -- do NOT waste your money on "Closer".

I cannot find one redemptive quality of this movie. Great actresses and actors, maybe. And sure, it'll make you think about relationships and what they are and are not...but there has to be some redeeming quality in the story itself.

Dan and I redeemed it by having our favorite "after date" dinner with which we had Coney Islanders and Pepsi. It's almost a family tradition.

Hey, and there is only 11 days until "Meet the Fockers" is at the theaters!

Mario Puzzo

"I didn't have the guts to be a criminal so I became a writer instead." --- Author Mario Puzzo, of "The Godfather" series.

It is interesting to note that the word "Godfather" wasn't used by Italian families or the mafia until AFTER Puzzo used it in his books. Puzzo grew up in an illiterate family who viewed his library card with horror and disdain.

The phrase "make him an offer he can't refuse." came into play after the Godfather, again one of Puzzo's creations in his mafia-family saga.

Surreal encounter

"You can see the sunset from here."

I looked up from my book to see a tall gentleman, standing in front of the large plate glass which looked out over the parking lot. The sun had set a few minute prior and all that was left was a cool gray sky with cirrus clouds in the distance.

"Yes", I said. "you can".

I went back to reading my book. My 5 PM was running late, I was hungry and wanted to get home before the traffic got any worse.

A few minutes later the same guy is sitting at a table not far from me and he's talking again. I try to be polite, answer a few of his questions, keep reading my book, watching the time all along.

"Not much to do around here, is there?" he asks. "I mean, I'm from Minneopolis and the culture there is great."

Now here's something I can talk about. Growing up in Oklahoma I ran away to the big city -- New York -- for a few years, until the red dirt and grandmother's pot roast called me back. Still I miss the museums, the shows, the grit of New York.

"No" I agreed. "Not much. But it has a certain provencial charm."
"Reminds me of Arkansas" he said, taking a drink of his coffee.

Wierdo, I think. I look again at my watch. I've obviously been stood up, not uncommon during holidays. Which is why, I think, I dislike them so much. No one wants to do anything but party, shop, two talents for which I share no passion.

"So I travel a lot -- here six months on a contract."

And then, he dropped the bomb. "But my faith in God sustains me."

I start to gather my stuff. I can see where this is headed. Another quack on the bible bandwagon. I gotta go.

He watches me, a bit sadly and then, "So, are you a Christian?"

I stop. I think. "I, well, uhm, yes, I think...yes. I am" I stagger through it, not meeting his eyes. I really, really need to go.

"So are you or aren't you?" He truly is beginning to worry me.

I say nothing. I'm now a bit afraid. Why is he creeping me out so much?

He leans forward, elbows on knees. "When I said that, you got really uncomfortable. Why?"

I stop, put down my keys, look right at him. "Because living here, being a christian isn't always something I'm proud of." I say. "My experience with those that say "christian" isn't always a good thing." There, I've said it.

"Can you wait just a minute, I have something I want to give you."

Oh, God, a real holy roller, Jesus quack. I won't meet his gaze.

"Sure" I say. But I've got my bag on my shoulder, I'm clearly perched for take off.

He goes out to his car and returns with some books.

"Here" he says. "These are for you."

I take the slim volumes, by some author I'd vaguely heard of. Books always get my attention and I say, "uhm, thanks".

"I believe there are many of us who are looking for the depths of God. Read these. Pray."

He then gets up and walks away. He doesn't ask for my name. He doesn't want my number. He leaves before I do and doesn't ask for a contribution.

I think about this man, this encounter all the way home. I could write it off as some quack who just likes to ruffle people.

But I have to be honest. He wasn't intrusive. He wasn't angry. He wasn't even "preachy". He just offered and left his gift.

The books are on prayer and are very good. Would it surprise you to know that I have been praying for guidance on prayer...for how to know God better? Is it too much of a coincidence that this man would hand me these books, literally out of thin air.

Or is this just some crazy coffee shop experience?

Jon Stewart on Larry King

"If you think that posting the Ten Commandments in your kids' school is going to change behaviour, then the sign that says, 'WASH HANDS' is keeping piss out of your happy meal." -- Jon Stewart

ABC Peter Jennings - Televangelists

"Bad lanuage, hatred, murder and violence that is being thrown at us. " from tonight's broadcast.

The church wouldn't have any of that, now, would it? It doesn't frighten me that these qualities might be outside the church....it frightens me that it exists within it.

New Age Shopping

I noticed that some of the trends that we talk so much about at corporate meetings, etc., are making themselves known in retail. As I walked the mall today (something I do maybe once in decade...isn't that why God made the internet, to shop without the walk?) I visited a store that has some of my favorite products, where I could "personalize" my own aromatherapy and customize my own gift basket with scents that will do everything from energize to stimulate to invigorate. Before I left with my purchases, I was invited to enjoy a few "moment of relaxation" with a back massage. I declined...I love massages, but something about straddling the chair in the shop window of a mall, while many other shoppers watched, didn't appeal to me.

Then, I walked down a few paces and discovered that I could customize my own smoothie with whatever "add in" I might want -- vitamins, etc.

I also noticed today that cell phones were in everyone's ear or should I say BLUETOOTH is on everyone's ear, so we all walk around like some transplant from a space trilogy. People use to get thrown into psych wards for the same behaviour, talking to themselves as they walked.

We seem to be in search of comfort and peace, yet unable to connect to the moment. I stood in the store, awaiting my custom mix, while all around people were "connecting" to others via palm pilots, cell phones. You couldn't really talk to anybody, they were already in a conversation. So in the midst of a busy mall at one of the busiest times of the year, I stood there, almost alone, yet surrounded by people. It was surreal.

Whew -- DONE!

Yessiree...my holiday gift shopping is DONE DONE DONE! As of 8:39 this evening, I have completed shopping for my family and friends and colleages! And I've been wrapping a little as I go, so I am finishing that up tomorrow and then...finishing up business and enjoying some R & R.

The year is ending in a surprisingly wonderful note. Some hard work is paying off and I'm feeling good about attending Leadership next month in N'Orleans.

I now need to focus a bit on some household things -- getting those bathrooms finished is a big part of our focus for the end of the year...and we're almost ready to start painting, adding fixtures again, etc. That will be wonderful to have bathrooms that the kids can use again.

I'm in the process of making up my holiday reading list...trying some new books, including some mysteries. Usually I don't enjoy mysteries much but am learning to enjoy some new authors. And I'm trying to read in genre's that I haven't read much to broaden my reading so to speak.

Now that I've done almost two years of 2-week workouts, I'm thinking of raising the bar and adding a third workout -- Wednesday evenings -- to my schedule. I would LOVE to lose about 25 pounds in the new year and have already started some scaling back of foods, portions. It's killing me...but I know it will pay off.

Sometimes, life is sweet and possibilities exist everywhere. This is one of those days.

Technology and mere mortals

I spent the better half of an afternoon trying to navigate an online web conference system...and with somewhat disappointing results. I've decided that unless there is some standardization of equipment, it is near impossible to have a conference with any quality at this stage of the technology game. Still it's a dream that will soon come to pass..sit down at your computer, hit a few strokes, voila you'll be in a virtual meeting room in your pj's.

This brings up surprising ideas...such as how to maniupulate one's picture or presence online. I found myself holding up pics from magazines of top models and so my name --- and then under that, some supermodel in pose. It was kinda cool...only it didn't fool anyone else in the meeting. They figured I was behind, hiding.

But what if that happens? What if we start to create online personalities that look and act like our imagination...and we never leave our houses at all. You could go your entire life and never know the person who does your taxes isn't a svelt Tom Cruise look alike. And he'd never know you didn't look like Charlize Theron. A whole world built upon superficiality and illusion.

One heckuva fight

Every year or so, my husband and I have our bi-annual argument. We use to have more, but I'm a sore loser so I asked if we could plan our biggies every other year...that way, I could regain my emotional constitution and lick my wounds.

Every relationship has that moment when you realize that the person you married doesn't quite meet your expectations. And if they do, your expectations start to change. And the new expectations freak out your partner....Let's face it, marriage is hard. Relationships are hard.

When people tell me that they and their spouse never "talk about divorce" or seperation, I try to suppress my laughter. I figure they lie about other things too. Or they just aren't very honest. Or maybe incredibly naiive.

Dan and I have slugged it out (metaphorically speaking) on so many issues, we can recite, line by line what the other will say about our rehearsed lines. Dan even does a great impression of me and nails it, everytime. 17 years of being together, you do get to practice, y'know.

At that moment when its a toss up to stay or leave is a moment of incredible opportunity. There will be, no doubt, more compromise, more let-downs, more tears. Yet there is that seed of change that working through the difficulty brings. It changes both people, both organisms and fundamentally a new relationship can emerge. That seed of possibility, so ripe with opportunity and promise, is worth holding out.

I worry about relationships that are the "quick and the dead" type. I worry that the people involved never get past an important growth opportunity, destined to only repeat that scenario in a different way, with a different partner, with the same outcome...no one wins and no one grows.

I don't limit these comments to only marriage...relationships can take the form of employer to employee, friend to friend, congregant to congregation, parent to child, student to school.

Someone not meeting your needs? How would Jon Stewart say this..."Get over it." "Grow over it" Something like that?

There is more opportunity in the process of getting over it, than in rebuilding with a new "partner" on a faulty premise: that anyone one of us is perfect, that any relationship will be anything but exquisitely painful and elegantly disasastrous on many levels.

Those moments when expectations are dashed, needs are ignored are seedpods of love.