Christmas Night

I made it. After 15 years of struggling through the Christmas season, I have made it through a somewhat painless and even enjoyable experience.

I have tried to assemble the reasons that made this season so much easier -- more peaceful - than others. There are a few that I think attributed to this...here they are:

1 - Making a decision to enjoy the season. Realizing that it is a season t celebrate, I determined to find something -- each day -- to celebrate. My husband's parenting, my kids willingness to help around the house...something to say, "wow, that's good."

2 - Realizing my limitations. I cannot shop for more than an hour a day ( I truly hate shopping -- remember, that is what God made the internet!). So I chose each day to work in a little shopping and it didn't take a lot of days to make a dent in the list. Also, I chose to have a budget - -although I blew the budget -- having one I think helped me rein in spending. Still, I spent more than I probably should have, but less than I might have had I not had a budget.

Also, I don't party. I like reading books, listening to music, watching movies. This runs cross gain to the culture in some ways, and I find crowds suffocating and exhausting. I made a decision to spend time with those I really care about -- and that's it. I can party at work during non-holiday seasons because it may be a part of my job -- and I've also learned "how to" do it so that it works for me and others.

3 - Set after-christmas goals. Nothing is more depressing than opening gifts and realizing that there is nothing for the "after days" of christmas. I carefully have planned this year to drive my kids and husband crazy by painting the bathrooms upsairs a crisp red. It needs to be done and why not do it while everyone is at home and in each other's way? What better time to experience family closeness when dripping red paint on carpet and new clothes?

Seriously, I decided that some projects around the house would be priorities and have been working on them for quite some time.

4 - Realize that the holidays are not about what you are going to "get" but about what you "have". I know, I know, it sounds a bit corny, but as I approach the big 42 (January 26 for anybody that is wondering!!) I have seen my share of holiday gifts that, no matter how much promise, they disappoint. I have started to understand what my mother in law use to say, "there is nothing like family." I use to hear that with the reflection on my family or origin and would say, "Yep. THAT'S certainly true." But now I hear with with the reflection of my son's gift to his granddad, my daughter's handmade gifts to her father, time spent with my husband. These are the things that have become much more important to me -- maybe it's an "after 40" thing because it use to be to me very much about the gifts.

5 - Set a goal for personal, spritual, professional fulfillment - Last year, I continued my working out (kickboxing) and my decision to join a professional speaking organization (toastmaster) Both have brought enjoyable relationships and new skills. This year, I am continuing my pusuit of learning Spanish (have found a tutor for once a week) and will continue my working out. I want to explore more yoga and just having walks with Dan.

Also, I have become absolutely hooked on my writing -- not my personal writing, mind you, but the realization that this is something that I literally need to do. It's like breathing for me...for years I have kept journals...now I have this blog, a personal journal (yes, there is some juicy stuff in there, but it's NOT online!!!) and my own daily journal. I am always writing -- in my head, in my journals and I whether I ever write the "great american novel" it fills me with peace and comfort.

Recently, I sat some professionals goals that should be completed in the next 4 -5 years. Once I realized that whatever professional goals I achieve will be completed in the next few years, it was as if a huge weight was off me. I will continue to work with focus and dedication, but work is more a means to an end, rather than an end for me. I enjoy what I do and feel that I am good at it and hopefully I add to the quality of others lives.

But work is NOT my life...and I don't wish to be defined or limited by it. I am enjoying finding other outlets - gardening, writing -- that are extremely fulfilling to me as well. Enjoying these pursuits and making time for them are essential to my well being. It took me a long time to realize this.

Spritually, I have recently begun to enjoy the discipline of contemplative prayer. I am a gawky amateur at best, but I am enjoying how learning this discipline helps calm, soothe and center me. I also am enjoying really trying to listen to God speaking to me. I've always been a bit of a skeptic about the whole God thing...I believe in Him, but wonders sometimes if He believes in me. I'm a pretty big goober who has made more than few "big ones" (mistakes). It is taking me a long time to embrace that God would want anything to do with me...much less talk to me. I'm finding that I God is a whole lot different than I originally thought...maybe we just got off to a bad start or I formed some unfortunate pre-judgements. My first impressions of Him weren't that great...he seemed opinionated and judgemental, not to mention a big of a know it all. Anyway, I'm trying to embrace the silence in my life and try to listen...gardening, writing really help me do this.

6 - Better manage my resources -- especially money. I admit it, I can make a lot of money, but that doesn't mean anything. It matters on how much you keep -- or give to others. I have a lot to learn about this discipline and I'm slowly -- slowly, slowly, making progress. It has taken me a long time to see why I buy what I do, what I'm really looking for when I make the purchase. This season I found myself being more analytical about what I purchased and why. It still didn't seem to help me by blowing my budget, but I think I did do better.

These are the things that I have learned in the past 42 years and what I take into the new year.

New Wines

I have started learning more about wines. I am convinced that one doesn't have to be a wine snob to enjoy an ancient brew, so I'm just asking and experiementing on my own. No big lavish wine tastings or anything like that -- just finding what I like by asking those that know, usually wine merchants or just trying something for myself.

I found one Chardonnay that I really like. It is, as some might say, a "dry wine". I think it has an excellent taste. I served it with some chicken soup and also with the christmas turkey. Wonderful flavor.


Liberty School Chardonnay 2001 We blended fruit from two of the best Chardonnay regions in the state, the Santa Maria Valley and another in Monterey County in the famous Santa Lucia Highlands. There are nuances of Bartlett pear, pineapple and green apples in the nose. The finish is long, balanced and never cloying, due to its healthy acidity. BN#142502
$11.99SKU13148

I am also trying a wine from Rosemount Estate with roast beef later this weekend...I'll post on this later.

Christmas eve

It could not have ever matched my expectations. Still, "The Fockers" was entertaining and enjoyable. I still have a thing for DeNiro, no matter that he acts like a love-stricken grandfather in this film.

And Barbara Streisand is the 'perfect jewish mom' and her character is someone that you just want to go have coffee and chat.
Overall, though, I have to say that the sequel does not measure up to the original. Maybe because originals have that spontaneous quality that sequel simply cannot match.

I am looking forward to seeing "Hotel Rwanda" ...it will probably be my favorite for the holiday season. And the big exume continues as I finish the office and move onto other rooms of the house to clean/organize. We're ready to paint in upstairs bathroom and we'll order fixtures next week to get that job behind us. I'm ready.

I look forward to the rest of Christmas reading, watching movies and doing more writing.

The Big Sweep

Operation BIG SWEEP is now fully underway. Here is some ideas that are assisting me in getting my office/home put together for new year:

Staples Office Organization: Frequently Asked QuestionsOffice Organization: Frequently Asked Questions, ... Office organization and time managementexpert, Jan Jasper, replied with the following answers. ... www.staples.com/content/Article/ E-H/FAQsOfficeOrganization.asp - 31k - Cached - Similar pages

5 Rules of OrganizationFive of the most helpful home office organizing tips for dealing with paper, being efficient, and more.

THE BIG DAY

Today, "Meet the Fockers" is in theaters!

We spent the evening last night with some wonderful friends...truly a special evening with food, music, conversation.

Sometimes, I am amazed at God's graciousness to me with the friends and people He has chosen to intersect my life.

My daughter had her wisdom teeth removed today. She is recuperating on the couch while I try not to hover. Dan is the official "family doctor go-er". I get sick just thinking about someone cutting on my kids. I was reading the post-op directions and felt like throwing up just reading about gauze and ice packs and blood. I'm a real medical wimp, so not really much help at all. I make sure there is chicken soup, warm blankets, books to read, music to listen to...and I sit around and look at my kids, but beyond that, I'm totally worthless.

I have been researching some new ideas for some classes...art history and more on contemplative prayer. This continues to be a source of great comfort and it is opening a lot of new areas to explore and ponder. Today I found a wonderful web site that features biblical instrumentation that perhaps King David might have used in the Psalms along with historical pictures of David, Jesus. The old stirrings from my art history classes are making themselves known...I can get really lost in thinking about artists and how they see their world...what that means. One of the most interesting aspects of studying art is how each artist interprets their world and how myopic we all must be when we try to understand the world around us. We simply cannot see the world without showing our own prejudices and imprints.

I am reading and re-reading the works of Watchmen Nee (Sit, Stand, Walk) and am profoundly captivated by his ideas:

"Most Christians make the mistake of trying walk in order to be able to sit but that is a reversal of the true order. Our natural reason says, IF we don not walk, how can we ever reach the goal? What can we attain without effort? How can we ever get anywhere if we do not move? But Christianity is a queer business! If at the outset we try to do anything, we get nothing. If we seek to attain something we lose everything. For Christianity begins not with the big DO, but with the big DONE." (Watchman Nee, "Sit Walk, Stand"

2 days to Meet the Fockers...

I spent most of the day on "detailing", what I call closing up loose ends of household and business. I am now fully in the process of cleaning out closets, drawers as well as laying plans and dreams for new year. I have successfully learned how to download not only music but audio books to my dream treo. I think I've become addicted to it..one of my friends calls her palm device her "crack-berry" because of the addictive qualities of having so much in the palm of your hand.

I found a new artist (to me, anyway) called David Lanz which has clear, translucent melodies that are both relaxing and invigorating. I am listening to one of the albums that I've downloaded while Dan relaxes by watching Monday Night Football. I call football a modern day "gladiator" game.

Frank Caliendo (www.frankcaliendo.com) is the comic that mimics John Madden (among many others) and now I can't listen to John Madden without thinking of the comic that spoofs him.

I am reading several books, including two by Watchmen Nee, on prayer. Fascinating stuff and I'm trying to get my feeble brain around the ideas...kind of transports me to a new place to explore. I'll comment more on his ideas in upcoming blogs.

"Flight of the Phoenix"

Overall, disappointing. I was hoping to find some elements of truth in this parable about being lost and finding one's way out of the much. I did find a few gems, but mostly rather predictable film nuances.

The one performance that I truly enjoyed was Giovanni Ribisi who plays "Elliott". I think he is one of the most versatile actors in Hollywood and I hope to see more of him. As I watched his character in this movie, I found myself really caring about him -- which is the entire point of a great actor---play someone that may be unlikeable but you still care about him. You want to figure him out and figure out what makes him "work", or what motivates him. I found myself doing this with his performance. For more on Mr. Ribisi:

Date of birth (location)
17 December 1974Los Angeles, California, USA
Trivia
Won the ShoWest Newcomer of the Year Award in 1999. (show more)
Sometimes Credited As:
Antonino Giovanni RibisiVonnie RibisiVonni Ribisi

Also, for DeNiro Fans, Bobby boy hosted SNL last night. From what I've seen/heard with Hollywood gossip, DeNiro is notoriously self effacing and shy. He's also a method actor, not a spontaneous comic. He seemed to struggle with the live format of SNL. The best part was his monologue with Kermit the Frog. The irony of Mr. Goodfella and the muppet icon was ironic and well, sweet. It was almost like watching my grandfather sing a song to a kid. DeNiro is one of my all-time favorite people, someone I'd love to have lunch with and just talk.

The countdown continues...a mere three days to "Meet the Fockers". There's no way at this point that this film will live up to my hype and expectations, but I still can't wait to go.