It's official: I'm a REAL writer

I have the evidence right here. A bona-fide, authentic rejection letter.

It's not the first by any means but something about this one makes it seem more real to me. I guess that the first few rejection letters that I received were more like practice. The work I submitted, though important to me, was more like going on a blind date: I kind of threw myself out there with little expectation that much would come of it.

And not much did. One publication, no money just the buzz of seeing my name in print. Even if it was misseplled.

This entry was for an essay contest that I really worked on. I labored on the rewrite for several weeks and it is like I was bleeding on the page. There is a lot of me in this essay and I sent it out in its white envelope with a prayer and then I promptly forgot about it.

Again, that reminder about a blind date. "Oh nothing will come of it. "

The difference is that with writing something always comes of it, even if it is a rejection slip. It's like a blind date calling you back and saying, "Not only did I have a rotten time, I never want to see you again."

Kinda like that, I guess.

This rejection letter is a whole page and while I do appreciate the editor's attempt to be kind and even though the letter is on a real paper instead of a notecard or even worse, a postcard (which brings to mind that the editor has already embarked for ports of calls in which I'll never be invited) this letter is officially now my FIRST OFFICIAL REJECTION as a writer.

How will I celebrate?

I could rewrite the essay. I could call the editor and say, "thanks for the initiation". Or I could write some more, which is what a real writer would do.

I've said this to some in the writing field and now I'm ashamed. I said once to an editor that I figured rejection would come easy to me, after all, I've been in sales for 14 years, what could a little rejection be to me, a hardened sales veteran?

I'm surprised that she didn't wallop me good right then, right there. She must have known that I'd get my due, that this day would come when this letter would both brighten and darken my day and I'd know what all writer's come to know: it ain't rejection unless you throw your heart over the bar and it means something to you.