Creating Sacred Space OR a day with dusty files

I've spent the better part of 2 days rummaging through some old files in my office. I realize that most people don't associate a summer vacation with cleaning out old files. Most people spend time at the beach or the lake. I envy that in some respects. I don't like lake water and there are few beaches near Tulsa, OK. So cleaning out an old file cabinet is about as good as it gets for me.

The process can be spiritual. It can be violent. It can be cleansing. It can be freeing. And it can be all these things at once, I think.

Spiritual in that there is a universal concept that I neither can understand or explain. It is simply this: before one's life can move forward there must be some letting go of things so that new things can come. Some might call this forgiveness. Some might call this releasing. Some might call this trash. Whatever it is, it is the first step in creating something sacred.

The process requires simple tools. First about an hour of time. This will allow you to settle into the process, review what all you want to purge and keep. And deciding if you are really ready for the process. Letting things out of your life requires a certain courage, a certain welcoming of the necessary grief that will no doubt come your way.

Next, something to drink. I'm an iced tea girl but I have some friends (I like to call them the "Mid-life Crazies") who have confided to me that their drink of choice might be a bit stronger. I'll leave them to explain. They may have bigger messes than me or maybe they are more honest than I am.

Next, I'd recommend some music. Music is the pathway to the soul for most of us so whether it is Mick Jagger, Enya or Los Lonely Boys, you gotta have something to let you know that you are not alone in this big job. My music is "adult alternative" which sounds like something I should hide but it's an eclectic mix of rock, blues and new age. I find this heady mixture soothing was I toss old emails into the can.

A rugged honesty would be the next accessory. Ya gotta be ready to toss. Ya gotta be real with yourself and say, "have I even LOOKED at this file in the last 6 years?" If you haven't, it's probably not going to be missed. But letting go is hard (whether it's with old files or old relationships) so go easy on yourself. Start three piles: Keeper file, Giveaway File, Re-label file, and the "i'm not sure I"m ready to let go" pile. One note of caution: If you find yourself with every pile empty except the last, seek therapy. Or maybe get something stronger to drink.

I find that at certain times in life there is more than just the usual cleaning out that is required. Sometimes it is more of a "reordering" that is needed. I found this to be true this year. Let's just say that I recently took a stress test and when completed, I was inducted into the Stress Hall of Fame. I was also given the name of a noted cardiologist and asked to carry Bayer Asprin with me "just in case". So this year, my annual cleaning out required some tossing of old stuff. In fact, I cleaned out an entire drawer that is now devoted to some new hobbies that are becoming more and more the stuff of my life: gardening, writing, speaking. "This is how", I thought while throwing out old pictures of people I don't even recognize any more, "a life changes." I renamed a drawer, I made new files with new names and I said a prayer over what I had thrown away. "Thank you" I said to the pile, for being in my life and now for letting me go."

It's wierd how we get so attached to stuff. Old manuals for old cell phones that kicked a long time ago. Leftover memories of relationships that were good learning but terrible on the self-esteem. Dreams and ideas that were instrumental in so many parts of my life but who served their purpose in just letting me dream them. They were never to see the light of day.

I find that letting this stuff go -- determing what I'm going to be about for the next year (and what I'm not) -- creates a sense of centeredness that I know is necessary. Clutter is more than just about things I'm not using, it's about things that are taking up space and energy and time that can better be used somewhere else.

Another important tool: a sharp pencil, sticky-notes and fresh files. Here again is a needed luxury, the simple task of saying that whatever goes in a new file is worthy of some respect. So I live lavishly and invest the .02 cents required to set up my files in a way that when I look into the drawer I can actually read the file tab. I don't write over them, I don't label over them. It's wild, I know. Decadent even.

I am practical if not pragmatic. I don't use pen on any of my files. I use pencil. Which says a lot about trust and flexibility I think. Nothing lasts forever, not even the good stuff.

One of my Mid-Life Crazies said to me recently, "All that time on the soccer field with Seth and for what? He's not even playing soccer in college? What was that ALL ABOUT, anyway?" She shook her head and I could tell the tears were near the surface. And so she recently threw out all the old schedules, the old phone lists, all the soccer paraphanalia that had dotted her son's landscapre over the past few years.

I had no answer to her question because it's one that I ask, too. What is all this STUFF about? Is about a more full life? Is the answer to life's journey more accomplishment? More awards? More things for the brag wall? Does more coming and going really make us better or does it just make us tired? These are deep questions and they require more than a glass of iced tea for resolution.

Nestled in one of my files is a file marked "Nathan". And yeah, in it are some precious memories that I will hold onto. A ticket stub from a movie we went to. A napkin from a banquet where he played his trumpet. A picture of he and his dad. Memories are meant to ground us in something that was good and wonderful while we let go of those things that need to grow in new ways. It is never easy, it never simple. It is always necessary.