The bug that I've been avoiding has increased its potency today and I'm seeking refuge here at home, in front of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and lots of hot tea. Dan is fetching me some hot/sour soup and several egg rolls -- my favorite comfort food.
Today, though, is a red letter day...I was celebrated as #1 director at an area conference...I'm very excited, but more excited for the renewed vision that I've discovered these last few months.
Some decisions you find yourself making with little or no thought...like what entree to order or what drink to have. They seem meaningless, but over time they create habits -- good or bad -- and they continue. I've identified some really bad habits -- destructive habits -- that I've had and am forced to make some changes. This will be extremely hard, but I've already taken the first step...deciding upon a new change that I will start tomorrow. Stay tuned.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
Friday, February 04, 2005
"The Kite Runner"
I'm finishing the book, "The Kite Runner" and it is a wonderful experience. I've not been feeling well the last half of the week and while I've been plodding around in my office, getting out from under the month end avalanche as well as preparing for new month, I've been listening to this story. It has taken my mind off being sick.
Some truly amazing things have begun to happen in my business and I'm so thankful that I stayed in the mode during some challenging times. I like to say that the true measure of a leader is how well things go when they are not around...To that end, I assisted in developing a local workshop that now has a life of its own. It is very gratifying to see a project not only get off the ground but take on its own form and its own life after one has "let go" of the leadership strings. To me, this kind of success gives me great joy because I believe it says that others are being used in their gifts and their own success.
I am able now to firmly look to the year end goals that I have projected. We still have a lot of work to do, but I'm feeling more rejuvenated and more excited than in a long time. I truly feel that the first decade of my professional life has brought its share of success and challenges and that all can be learned from. I tend to make the same mistake a few times before I learn the lesson, though.
The next five years are important years as I take new steps in my professional life, launch my children into their own lives and celebrate almost a quarter centennial married to Dan. I do expect there to be some challenges to these important milestones and yet I welcome the challenges and the inevitable lessons that will come.
In short, bring it on.
Some truly amazing things have begun to happen in my business and I'm so thankful that I stayed in the mode during some challenging times. I like to say that the true measure of a leader is how well things go when they are not around...To that end, I assisted in developing a local workshop that now has a life of its own. It is very gratifying to see a project not only get off the ground but take on its own form and its own life after one has "let go" of the leadership strings. To me, this kind of success gives me great joy because I believe it says that others are being used in their gifts and their own success.
I am able now to firmly look to the year end goals that I have projected. We still have a lot of work to do, but I'm feeling more rejuvenated and more excited than in a long time. I truly feel that the first decade of my professional life has brought its share of success and challenges and that all can be learned from. I tend to make the same mistake a few times before I learn the lesson, though.
The next five years are important years as I take new steps in my professional life, launch my children into their own lives and celebrate almost a quarter centennial married to Dan. I do expect there to be some challenges to these important milestones and yet I welcome the challenges and the inevitable lessons that will come.
In short, bring it on.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Parenting for Dummies
We're at full-tilt teenage cruise. That is, my kids are now fully teenagers and the fun has just begun.
I find myself sitting back and thinking a lot about my own teenage years. It humbles me a bit before I get too much in their faces. It brings me back short to remember "when".
Still, my job as a parent is to provide less of a guide at this point and more of a direction. I liken it to sledding. The direction is not always the question, but avoiding obstacles is. It's as if I sit behind my kids, with my arms around them, ticking off debris and pulling back or forth for the right momentum. Yes, that is it exactly.
We are fully discovering the art of maniupulation by young people intent on having their way. The performances are lively, interesting and always challenging. Like when they were little, I always get requests when I'm involved in other conversations -- on the phone, especially -- so now the rule is, "If you want a quick 'no', ask me when I'm on the phone (or otherwise engaged)."
There is no job that puts you more in front of yourself, with all your demons, ambitions, desires and dreams than the job of being a parent. You confront yourself and your fears each time they walk in the door, or worse, when they leave. I use to think that all the rules at church, work, school were created by adults that clearly had their own childhood/adolescence in mind. Now, I'm sure of it. Being a parent means that you realize not only the magnitude but also the potential for major life mistakes...and probably, you've already experienced them.
I believe good parenting is like renting a house...you know your role isn't permanent and that you have to keep it nice for the next folks that move in. My kids are now well on their way to their own lives and the people with whom they "do life with" will more or less, pick up the slack on what I did -- and did not -- teach them. I've thought a good deal about situations that we might encounter as they make their own life choices.
I hope to be the kind of parent that communicates love regardless of lifestyle or profession. I hope that my kids know that their life is THEIR LIFE, and not some version of my own. I hope most of all that my own demons don't haunt them or hold them hostage. In short, my job as their parent is to make myself unneeded and, hopefully, unwanted. I would not want my kids to "miss me" too much when I'm gone...I hope that they remember good times and funny times but I want them to move on with their lives with what they rec'd from me, not running from some tyrannical idea of what they might think I would want.
Every job I've ever done pale in comparision to the energy, committment, joy and pain with parenthood. I pray that God raises these kids in spite of me.
I find myself sitting back and thinking a lot about my own teenage years. It humbles me a bit before I get too much in their faces. It brings me back short to remember "when".
Still, my job as a parent is to provide less of a guide at this point and more of a direction. I liken it to sledding. The direction is not always the question, but avoiding obstacles is. It's as if I sit behind my kids, with my arms around them, ticking off debris and pulling back or forth for the right momentum. Yes, that is it exactly.
We are fully discovering the art of maniupulation by young people intent on having their way. The performances are lively, interesting and always challenging. Like when they were little, I always get requests when I'm involved in other conversations -- on the phone, especially -- so now the rule is, "If you want a quick 'no', ask me when I'm on the phone (or otherwise engaged)."
There is no job that puts you more in front of yourself, with all your demons, ambitions, desires and dreams than the job of being a parent. You confront yourself and your fears each time they walk in the door, or worse, when they leave. I use to think that all the rules at church, work, school were created by adults that clearly had their own childhood/adolescence in mind. Now, I'm sure of it. Being a parent means that you realize not only the magnitude but also the potential for major life mistakes...and probably, you've already experienced them.
I believe good parenting is like renting a house...you know your role isn't permanent and that you have to keep it nice for the next folks that move in. My kids are now well on their way to their own lives and the people with whom they "do life with" will more or less, pick up the slack on what I did -- and did not -- teach them. I've thought a good deal about situations that we might encounter as they make their own life choices.
I hope to be the kind of parent that communicates love regardless of lifestyle or profession. I hope that my kids know that their life is THEIR LIFE, and not some version of my own. I hope most of all that my own demons don't haunt them or hold them hostage. In short, my job as their parent is to make myself unneeded and, hopefully, unwanted. I would not want my kids to "miss me" too much when I'm gone...I hope that they remember good times and funny times but I want them to move on with their lives with what they rec'd from me, not running from some tyrannical idea of what they might think I would want.
Every job I've ever done pale in comparision to the energy, committment, joy and pain with parenthood. I pray that God raises these kids in spite of me.
Target acquired
We did it. We hit the mark. I'm taking the day off to plan, write and enjoy the moment.
Monday, January 31, 2005
Funny thing happened today...
Once a week, I attend a Toastmasters meeting, which is a group that works to build
speaking ability. I've been a member for a couple of years now and I enjoy my group very
much. Today something really funny happened ...I'll try to explain it...
Each week, there is a "table topics" session, where the table topics "master" asks questions to members of the group at random, thereby encouraging members to "think on their feet". Content is not as important as clarity. It is always an interesting part of the meeting...and one that most people dread.
It was my turn to be "table topics master"...I thought it appropriate to ask questions regarding the historic turn of events in Iraq. I figured that everyone was watching the events in Iraq as I was...to me this is as historic an event (with as many possible consequences) as the "take down the wall" thingy with President Reagan and Gorbechev.
One of my favorite people in this really fun group was talking during my profoundly worded question...so guess what? He got to get the question. When I called his name, he spun his head around as if he were an 9 year old math student who had forgotten his homework.
He then proceeded to do the best job of bs-ing with table topics that I've ever seen. It was, truly, a masterpiece (and I do regard myself somewhat of an expert in this domain). He was flawless, he was confident, he did the best job of saying absolutely nothing with so much drama and interest, it was Oscar-worthy.
We had a great laugh about it afterwards...and I know, paybacks are coming.
speaking ability. I've been a member for a couple of years now and I enjoy my group very
much. Today something really funny happened ...I'll try to explain it...
Each week, there is a "table topics" session, where the table topics "master" asks questions to members of the group at random, thereby encouraging members to "think on their feet". Content is not as important as clarity. It is always an interesting part of the meeting...and one that most people dread.
It was my turn to be "table topics master"...I thought it appropriate to ask questions regarding the historic turn of events in Iraq. I figured that everyone was watching the events in Iraq as I was...to me this is as historic an event (with as many possible consequences) as the "take down the wall" thingy with President Reagan and Gorbechev.
One of my favorite people in this really fun group was talking during my profoundly worded question...so guess what? He got to get the question. When I called his name, he spun his head around as if he were an 9 year old math student who had forgotten his homework.
He then proceeded to do the best job of bs-ing with table topics that I've ever seen. It was, truly, a masterpiece (and I do regard myself somewhat of an expert in this domain). He was flawless, he was confident, he did the best job of saying absolutely nothing with so much drama and interest, it was Oscar-worthy.
We had a great laugh about it afterwards...and I know, paybacks are coming.
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Prayer concert?
Why do things dealing with prayer usually manifest themsleves in glorified devos? Who decides what the "sounds of family" sound like? Would my teenager banging on drums be the "sound of family?" If not, why not?
Why are we so dull, so lacking in creativity? Why do only two people get to "plan" events like this? Who gets to drink the Kool-Aid and who gets to be left out?
Why are we so hung up on "leaving out others" so that egos can be assauged? What ever happened to building people and allowing free expression of gifts? Why do the only people who get to be built up also get to be paid for doing it? Is that service?
Why do we allow such great opportunities to be defined by less-than-mediocre experiences?
For me, watching my Jewish friends pray with their prayer shawls, teaches me more about prayer than anything I've ever learned in a "christian" church.
Why are we so dull, so lacking in creativity? Why do only two people get to "plan" events like this? Who gets to drink the Kool-Aid and who gets to be left out?
Why are we so hung up on "leaving out others" so that egos can be assauged? What ever happened to building people and allowing free expression of gifts? Why do the only people who get to be built up also get to be paid for doing it? Is that service?
Why do we allow such great opportunities to be defined by less-than-mediocre experiences?
For me, watching my Jewish friends pray with their prayer shawls, teaches me more about prayer than anything I've ever learned in a "christian" church.
The Crying Game
If you go to see "Million $ Baby" with Morgan Freeman, Clint Eastwood and Hilary Swank, take a few boxes of kleenex.
Makeup -- even waterproof - has no prayer with this one.
I love movies and stories where not everything is said...that there are some mysteries to what happens...this story leaves you to fill in blanks about relationships. The imagination is always better than the real thing, and this movie allows you to imagine and create powerful ideas about the intricacies of plot.
It is a first-rate movie for all three actors...Hilary Swank gets my vote just for playing roles that aren't always "pretty". The only distraction in the movie is from a sub-actor (Danger) who goes a little too far in his rendition of an Arkansas hillbilly.
The scene where Hilary (Maggie) gives her welfare mother a house is so realistic, so true to what I have personally experienced that it resonated inherently with me. Dead on.
All characters in the movie have their issues, their challenges. Life has beaten them all down and all are fighting for something...and as you watch it, you realize that you, too, are fighting..that we all are fighting ...for a chance, for a blessing, for anything that tells us "we had our shot".
Great movie-making and a great movie-going experience.
Makeup -- even waterproof - has no prayer with this one.
I love movies and stories where not everything is said...that there are some mysteries to what happens...this story leaves you to fill in blanks about relationships. The imagination is always better than the real thing, and this movie allows you to imagine and create powerful ideas about the intricacies of plot.
It is a first-rate movie for all three actors...Hilary Swank gets my vote just for playing roles that aren't always "pretty". The only distraction in the movie is from a sub-actor (Danger) who goes a little too far in his rendition of an Arkansas hillbilly.
The scene where Hilary (Maggie) gives her welfare mother a house is so realistic, so true to what I have personally experienced that it resonated inherently with me. Dead on.
All characters in the movie have their issues, their challenges. Life has beaten them all down and all are fighting for something...and as you watch it, you realize that you, too, are fighting..that we all are fighting ...for a chance, for a blessing, for anything that tells us "we had our shot".
Great movie-making and a great movie-going experience.
More on "Gilead"
I spent two hours this morning re-reading the story of Jacob and Laband their covenant at Gilead, which helped me considerably unlock the intention of the book that I now adore, "Gilead".
I read it during the sermon this morning ....I can't put it down. I can visualize the actors in the play or movie that might come from it...Robert DuVall would be perfect as Ames and someone like Anthony Hopkins would be great for Boughton. I haven't decided yet on who would be right for the part of Jack...someone smug like a Ed Wood could pull it off.
It's a great novel, of which I am sure I cannot even begin to give it its fair due. I try to read some of the scenes out loud to Dan, he smiles and shows some interest, but he doesn't get it yet.
Although church wasn't all a waste of time...there was a baby dedication and some w/f (my acronym for 'warm and fuzzy') music played and I thought about my father or lack thereof...and then I thought how God does really provide..how he has given me Dan's dad what I like to call my "second chance dad" and I realize he did really provide for me above all. I can't always see that God does that..and it wasn't in the way I thought God might have done. I've spent considerable time being upset with Him on the whole way he handled my family...I think He could have done a better job at that...but in the end, He is God and I'm not..and He does provide and I should be more thoughtful of that than I am.
I read it during the sermon this morning ....I can't put it down. I can visualize the actors in the play or movie that might come from it...Robert DuVall would be perfect as Ames and someone like Anthony Hopkins would be great for Boughton. I haven't decided yet on who would be right for the part of Jack...someone smug like a Ed Wood could pull it off.
It's a great novel, of which I am sure I cannot even begin to give it its fair due. I try to read some of the scenes out loud to Dan, he smiles and shows some interest, but he doesn't get it yet.
Although church wasn't all a waste of time...there was a baby dedication and some w/f (my acronym for 'warm and fuzzy') music played and I thought about my father or lack thereof...and then I thought how God does really provide..how he has given me Dan's dad what I like to call my "second chance dad" and I realize he did really provide for me above all. I can't always see that God does that..and it wasn't in the way I thought God might have done. I've spent considerable time being upset with Him on the whole way he handled my family...I think He could have done a better job at that...but in the end, He is God and I'm not..and He does provide and I should be more thoughtful of that than I am.
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