One of my favorite - Maria Bamford

Check out truly great talent -- Maria Bamford. One of the few female comics that has it figured out.

In the afterglow of a great novel

Reading a great novelist such as Margaret Atwood makes one think about the weightier things in life. And I love it when a novelist can do that.

I've been contemplating several aspects of life and you cannot do that without of course thinking about death. It may sound morbid but on the contrary I think it can be somewhat encouraging. After all, none of us are getting out of this life alive, so why not give some thought to it?

I especially have thought about the little deaths and re-births of all types of relationships. Example...my husband and I have been married now for over 19 years. Our relationship is much different than it was in the beginning. It has in a sense, died and been re-born a thousand times. It's been at times demanding, diffult and wonderfully creative.

There are parts of a relationship that one can miss..that I can miss, but the cold hard truth of the matter is this: moving forward in a relationship means that parts of the relationship must die (go away, cease to exist) so that new parts can be reborn. This is a good thing, a necessary thing, the only way to maintain the "life" of a relationship.

I wonder, then, why we don't give more thought to this? Why we don't look at the life cycles of relationships, of organizations -- businesses, churches, schools -- and say, "it's been a good run, but it's time for a new birth, which by its very nature insists upon some type of death."

I think about church, especially, at this time. Why don't we choose to bring in hospice and other forms of dignified death to allow a congregation to die a peaceful, due death? Why don't we want to recognize that there are significant roles to play when a congregation ceases to be a functional entity, and that its time has come to be reborn and therefore to die from "natural causes". After all, even the musicians aboard the Titanic had their purpose. What creative ways can we learn to allow a church, an organization to die with dignity and honor?

We talk so much about birthing new things -- churches, new businesses, and yet our culture is littered with the reality that to do that, ideas must die and be re-born in new ways. Far from being depressing, to me this is enlightening, exciting even to realize that new forms of living, breathing and working can result from simply realizing that we need to go a different way.

What would LandsEnd be without the demise of Sears? Where would we be if we were all still using punch cards instead of high speed internet? Who among us would argue that HDTV isn't far above the old black and white consoles?

Instead of wringing our hands and mourning, can't we stop and realize yes, this is hard but necessary and the only way through life is through death?

Finishing "Oryx and Crake"

I finished "Oryx and Crake" today. Kind of wooly and symbolic and not easy to summarize. Atwood's future world and its open ended ending sets thoughts in motion that are not easy to categorize. Masterfully written...a bit slow in the beginning...but the dialogue picks up. The thinly veiled "Crake" is unlikeable, which I believe is intentional on the author's part. Jimmy is the conscious of the book and ourselves as we deal with the connundrum's of technology and progress. I'm usually not a fan of such genre's but this is something that kept my attention through the long haul.

The Daily Show rules

I often enjoy the Daily Show with Jon Stewart, but last night's episode was one of the best. There was a skit that they did regarding fundamentalist who take the rapture very seriously. One guy actually has an email 'service' to email those "left behind" when the rapture takes place to notify their friends of their departure. The Daily Show handled this with their usual dose of irony, satire and wit.

Here's a clip from a recent show...regarding the White House controversy and web bloggers...
Daily Show: "Fact" Obsessed Bloggers

And if you still haven't had enough of JS, then check out http://www.jonstewart.net/bio/quotes.html

Great stuff, I'm a huge fan. I'd love to be on his show, so I'm busy writing a book..and if that doesn't get me on, then maybe I'll find a scandal or something.

Margaret Atwood interview

Still plodding through "Orxy and Cryk". See the author's interview about her latest book. I find her views on creation quite interesting. I will most likely go back and re-read other books she has written.

I downloaded my copy of Storyweaver and have spent some time with it...great stuff and promises to make some use out of years and years of journal scribblings. Writing for me has become my new caffeine, a wellspring of sustenance during the day to day comings and goings.

Snake in my bedroom

Sunday's weather was so wonderful, so breezy and warm, that I left my back door open for a bit to enjoy. Some fresh air can do wonders for the dull darkness of winter weather.

I forgot that I had a big puddle in the back yard...I call it a pond, but it's mostly a dirty puddle with some scraggly plants trying to survive. I forgot that snakes seek high ground and warm tile, of which my bedroom has plenty. I forgot that most snakes are just now starting to awaken for their summer munching.

But I remembered all this as I awakened this morning, groaning in the light of a new day -- a MONDAY. My eyes dim with sleep, I swing my legs over the bed and then a sound, like a baby's rattle, but softer and yet more intense.

I shake my eyes open, still unbothered, reaching for sleep, knowing its gone now for another 14 or 18 hours...then, that sound again.

I get real still. The house is still, quiet. Kids are at practice. Dan working. It's technically a "holiday", so things at our house are a bit more calm. Again, the sound.

I awaken now, on guard. I look to the corner of the room, where a small but firm coil is tucked into a corner, on the tile near the door, its head moving like those break dancers I see on TV...its head is moving, but its body is really still.

I'd be fascinated if I wasn't sitting in my pj's with my bare feet dangling over the side of my bed within reach if he stretched out fully.

We watch each other for a bit..does he see me? Is it a HE? I get real still, watching its tongue shiver. I heard once that snakes use their tongues to smell, so maybe he's (?) sniffing me, undoubtedly smelling the fear that now is prevelent...I'm scared. Oh boy, am I scared.

My brothers always knew that if they really wanted to frighten me, go out into the wheat field behind our ramshackle house and find a small snake -- even a baby -- and hold it in my face and the requisite big sister's scream would fill the neighborhood. Cheap thrills, better than watching a horror movie for them. I'd plot my revenge for days. This fear of snakes is unrealistic, illogical but oh so REAL.

I curl back up slowly, watching, looks like I'm not going anywhere for a bit.

Forgiveness

My grandmother is one forgiving woman. She has the ability to love through and through, to see a person in spite of all the stupid things that they might have done. I have watched over the years as she has forgiven people time and time again and done it with graciousness and dignity.

I asked her once, "How do you do that? How can you just let someone off after what they've done to you?"

Her answer still rings true to me. She said, "When you forgive, you aren't letting the other person "off"...you are letting yourself off. You are letting yourself off from revenge, vengence, hate and anger."

At the time I was a saucy teenager who thought I knew everything and had no idea what she was trying to say. After all, teenage angst is part of the growing up process, I had a "right" to my anger.

Many years later, the truth of her words is only now beginning to make sense to me. I don't question the reasons for forgiving, but the "how to" has always eluded me a bit. Today I made a list in my "real" journal on some things that I must forgive. I'm praying for grace in order to do that...because, forgiveness can only come from God. If I try to do it on my own, I will inevitably fail.

I am going to try to take a baby step with acceptance. If I can learn to accept people, situations, then perhaps that is a first step towards the big F.

I hasten to add that God has seen fit to surround me with great forgivers in my life. Perhaps He knew how much I had to learn about this art form and that I needed lots of role modeling. Dan is also one of the great forgivers that I have known. He takes a more pragmatic side of things, though. He just thinks it takes up too much time and energy, which could of course be put to greater use watching March Madness. At least he's consistent.

I really believe there is a power in forgiveness that I don't yet know or understand. I have read the book "The Art of Forgiving" about 10 times and still think it has a lot of great stuff in it. So I'll keep reading, keep watching, keep praying to make forgiveness more part of my life.

And when I fail, as I most often will do, I will pray that those around me can exercise their forgiveness muscles as well.