Why I'm not a diplomat

My plans for learning a new language are going not so good. Even after practicing daily -- even with spanish speaking people, my spanish is still not that great. I can't roll my "r's". I get confused between "es" and "estes". I ask "muoy" when I really mean "bien". I may be hopeless.

I'm wondering how I will ever be able to communicate with a new culture.

If that isn't enough discouragement, I realize that there is more than one culture clash with more than one or more ways to offend those that I want most to reach.

Because, as I recently realized, there is a big difference between english speaking
men and latino men.

And, as is my standard m.o., I learned this the hardest of ways.

Without realizing it, I recently really offended a latino man by forgetting this one simple rule: Latino men want to be in charge. When you ask them to do something, let them do it. Don't go doing it yourself. Even if it takes them three days to do what you think they can do it one day, let them do it.

I was telling my husband this and lamenting my stupidity when he turned and looked at me and said, in his own little way, "so what's different about latino men exactly?"

Not only can I not speak Spanish, I have a hard time speaking English sometimes. I stormed out the door and sat in the garden for a bit. I knew, deep in my core, he was right.

I start on a job and I obsess about it, trying to pencil in details, forgetting that the process of leading people is more important than getting my work done. I forget that other people need to be involved and in my arrogant rush to the finish line, forget that me getting it "done" doesn't mean tacos if I can't bring others with me.

I guess "stupido" is my middle name.

Today, I'm going to try to repair the damage. I'm learning several key phrases on how to say "I'm sorry, I was wrong" in both english and spanish.

I need to remember that my time is not other's people's time.
That their needs are more important than mine.
That patience in any language communicates care better than the best monologue.