Monday Morning Fog

Maybe its all the food my daughter, Ellen, made for us over the weekend. She's been cooking -- really cooking -- meals for our family as part of her money-making plan. By meals I don't mean hot dogs and pizza...I mean REAL meals that have all the basic food groups represented. Amazing what "Taste of Home" magazine can become in the hands of an eager (and broke) teenager!

Or maybe it's the warmth of being with my kids and dan and his dad, snoozing on the couch after lunch, taking long walks in the garden.

Or maybe it's the mound of work that I still have yet to do to complete this year end.

Whatever it is, Monday Mornings always bring a fog of uncertainty and outright anxiety. What if I don't get this deal closed? What about the airplane tickets? What about this weekends events? When is the soccer banquet again? What time does Ellen practice?

Mondays are a like cold showers, strong coffee, brutal workouts. All might be helpful in their place but the jolt can be eye-opening.

I've chosen some rituals to get me through it. First I walk the dog. She's old but thinks she's young and she wants so badly to run with me, but she just can't. So, after one lap around the neighborhood, she gets placed with a hug into the bag yard where she, I think, is as relieved as I am. I still have one more lap to go and this one I run.

Did I mention that this is always the best time of the year for me to diet? I have a goal of dropping 20 pounds by July 1 and this is a good time of the year for me to do it...I can run, swim, jog and that exercise really helps me stay focused on my year-end business goals.

And yes, the running metaphor is real...running to the year end finish because I'm always so far behind at this pace of the game. I'm gaining momentum but the year end (these next 8 weeks) are the toughest yet to do.

If you are not in sales and you are reading this, then you may not understand that some of us really work for a living. We work everyday. If we don't work, we don't eat. We don't have two weeks vacation. We don't get to take "sick days" with pay.

But the up side of it is that we can make more in one month than some salaried people do in a year. If you can keep running.

I've had my doubts about being able to keep up. I'm a veteran in this business and the young turks are showing some real strength. Since this isn't an essay on experience vs. lack of experience, I'll save those comments for when I write on that. Let's just say that I find more and more in common with the lady from "Fried Green Tomaotes" all the time -- TOWANDA!

Since I've chosen sales as my life's work (or at least the one that pays the bills right now) I have to hasten to add that I would be miserable in any other kind of work. I love being able to work my own way, with my own pace and I love --- dearly love -- the creativity that I can enjoy by being in my line of work.

But there comes a time when goals are reassessed and life stares up at you in the form of your kids and you ask, "is this what I want to do for the rest of my life?"

I've been asking myself that a lot over the past two years and some surprising answers have come my way. I can confidently say that "yes, it is" but it has to be different.

Different in that, like most mid-lifers, work has to be meaningful. It has to MEAN SOMETHING to someone besides myself. It has to have a force that is beyond the mere day to day trivialities.

I have also discovered that the kind of people in which you work can make the difference in this area too. I've had my share of divas and quite frankly, don't care much for them. Want to make some money in this business? Great! Let's break a nail and get to work. Got an attitude? Check it. The only thing that really matters in my line of work -- attitude and commitment. Everything else is negotiable. Got no skills? Not a problem if you can learn and are willing to put in the effort.

So while I love the sales game and the rush of adrenaline when a goal is being met, I also find that I need more and more time and pacing of these goals and that the goals, must be an end to something much more.

Recently, a new membe of my organization shared with me that she had been able to meet a personal financial goal for herself that she hadn't been able to meet before. Funny, but this one goal being shared with me meant more to me than winning diamonds and cars might have been in the past. Showing someone else how to do something for themselves is why I originally wanted to be a teacher and in that moment I felt great pride -- one for her for doing it and some for me for being a part of it.

So as I sit here on Monday morning, my legs already tired from the run, my datebook dirty and filled with today's commitments, I know that the race is just beginning. But this race is a new one....one focused less on myself and more on others. I have such a long way to go.

Fog seems to be lifting a bit.