Doubts, skeptics and naysayers

I get really nervous when I hear someone who claims to be christian say, "Wow...this and this happened...God is so good!"

"I got a new job...God is good!"

"I got a new boyfriend...God is good!"

"The deal on the house came through - God is good!"

This kind of logic can only lead me, a skeptic if there ever was one, to say something stupid like, "So, if you didn't get the job, would God still be good?"

I mean, what is God? Some big car-hop in the sky wishing all our prayers into being?

I would claim nothing on 'knowing God'. I've spent a good deal of my life hiding out from him in the best place of all -- church! It's so easy to hide from him there, doing all kinds of stuff and activity (OK, to be honest, I haven't done much activity in church in a long time..!) that one hardly has to ask oneself, "Do I really KNOW GOD?" And of course there is a second part of that question that is really chilling, "Does God know me??"

I don't have the answers to these and other questions. I do know that more and more I am finding God in places that heretofore haven't been traditional places to find Him.

In my garden, with the nodding of the blooms.
In my kids faces, when they say, "I love you."
In my friends faces and in their words when they both challenge and love me.

I am adopting a new mantra of my life. It is the "Let this be a holy moment" idea...where I recognize that God is abundantly available to me in the small moments of my life.

Which can probably frustrate the cootie out of my christian friends. After all, God only meets us in the church, right?

And he only speaks to us through the Bible?

And he can only be seen when we prayerfully seek him?

To this I say, with all due respect -- baloney.

I think we must broaden our definition of God a bit, give him some room to breathe, stretch his legs. I don't think God is limited to our imaginations, no matter how wild or wierd. I don't think that God is sitting on some ethereal pillow awaiting me to just call out and say, "OK FIX THIS, WILL YOU??" after I've done my best to destroy things, people, relationships.

I don't know God very well, it seems. Because he keeps surprising me in unexpected places.

I see more of God when my garden is in bloom, when my kids are running on the soccer field, when my friends call to me for help. I see God as I form these words and ideas....I mean, if GOD is anything he's a pretty creative sort.

In the last few weeks, I've seen God bring disparate parts of my life into cohesive streams of living and refreshing water for me. I've seen him bring people into my life that I couldn't have possibly picked out from the crowd.

But I've also seem him take a few more sordid ones from my life. Some that threaten to hurt me. Some that have a knack for destroying my spirit. Some that just are plain mean and insensitive.

And I've seen him sit idly by when my husband has lots his job, my son busted his face, my daughter her foot.

Is God still "good"?

I think God is good, but I think we have a hard time knowing what "good" really is. It's a subjective thing -- what's good for me may not be good for you...so who's to say what 'good' is?

I think it is a lot like my neighbor, who no doubt watches with interest my antics in my yard. He has no idea what I'm thinking, what I'm planning, what I'm dreaming. All he sees is this crazed woman out in her yard during the rainy spring, digging.

He must think I'm crazy.

He sees me out there leaving a huge hold in the yard while I carefully prune roses.

I can almost hear him wondering aloud, "what's up with THAT?"

Which is a lot like I look at God. I see his work and scratch my head and say, "y'know..if I were to do that, I'd do it differently.."

This master plan? As far as I know I haven't been clued in to what that might be. I haven't been asked to submit my proposals or offer my suggestions.

One thing about God -- if he exists, then he is King. And Kings don't take votes, ask for feedback, consult with their servants.

But holy moments exists in all parts of life -- the "good", the "bad" and the "ugly". The type of moment doesn't faze a God who is in charge of all things. And so...

When I wonder how we'll pay the bills, I will say, "let this be a holy moment".
When I wonder how we'll get two kids through college, I will say, "let this be a holy moment."
When I wonder how I'll get the work done, I will rest in "let this be a holy moment."

Let.

Be.

Holy.

Only then, I believe, can I say with sincerity, God IS Good.