Untitled

Recently I was sitting in a conference and the speaker was telling us that "success" is now being defined by women much differently than it was in the previous generation. I think this is where I want to focus these comments, however haphazardly, right now. It would be fine for me to comment on other postmodern changes but the only one that I'm really living is the current day, current year so I'll keep my comments in my blog on that topic. If you want to know about postmodern art, check out some great literary and art sites. If you want to know about postmodernism and religion, I got some swell references for you.

This is more about me sorting through some things and putting them to "paper" and making some sense of things...probably not a lot of answers here for most of you reading. Sorry.

I am in a generation that was a daughter of the feminist movement. And while we're being honest let's understand -- women and men inhabit different cultures. I don' t think this is a bad thing ..it is just a "thing" that has to be figured in whenever we talk about cultural changes. Men and Women see the world differently. I'm not going to go into the "why" or the "how" but they just do.

We were taught growing up that yes, we could do anything we wanted to do. We were told this by our mothers who, in the age of of Aquarius, who were out there finding themselves and living in Woodstock and fawning over the Beatles. They truly did want a different life than what their parents had given them. They meant well, really.

And so we were handed this world that many of us grew up in that was the world of the "un-parents". Parents really weren't into parenting that much...they were busy having their own crisis, having their own divorces, having their own lives. They were forging new ground in a lot of ways, burning bras and that sort of thing. It takes a lot of work to throw off cultural shifts of any kind. So of course, this produces kids with this obsessive "thing" about being a parent and how to parent and all that stuff. Books and tapes and support groups, oh my god.


We inherit this world with all this promise. We go to school, many of us pursing advanced degrees which is exactly what the mothers who raised us wanted us to do. Hey, if you can't live through your kids, then what's the point really, right?

And so we disdained the kitchen, and the having kids and all those things that heretofore were just "given" in a woman's life for more "important" things like the U.N. or being a lawyer or something that would give our life MEANING.

But what someone forgot to figure into the picture is that those positions don't hold meaning in and of themselves. Having three degrees in some advanced science field doesn't give a life meaning.

And so the eternal question begins to arise again -- as our parents asked themselves "why doesn't having a family in the suburbs give my life meaning?" our generation began to ask ourselves "why doesn't having advanced degrees and Prada bags and great hip friends give my life meaning?"

It's an eternal question that has to be answered by each generation as they find their way.

Let me hasten to add here that I don't have the answer. Sorry.

I know that, being a child of fundamentalist religion, I should quote book, scripture and verse. I can do that, but it doesn't mean that I have found the "meaning" of life. What I have found through that practice is a hard edge, an unforgiving edge that cuts both me and you. And while there may be some meaning to that, it hurts like hell and leaves one pretty cold and lonely.

I know that, being a child of the feminist movement, I should empower the other women of the world and unite together and share the sisterhood. And cry. Don't forget, there is a lot of crying going on with the "empowered sisterhood" thing. What I have found with that practice is that, despite the crying and the sisterhood slogans, there is a lot of back biting that again, hurts like hell and leaves me cold. And not much empowered either.

I know that being a child of the Cold War, I should have definite political views about those in other countries and understand my world view and write my congressman and vote! Don't forget to Vote. Because we know that changes the world, right? But what I learned through that approach is that the man I vote for may not be the same man in the Oval Office and maybe I changed the world in ways I hadn't bargained for.

So those of us -- female -- in the postmodern age have a lot of questions. We no longer define success as how many initials go behind our last name. We don't hang onto the name of our spouse or significant other or partner by any means. And if means that we have to miss the kids school play t make a few more bucks, we'd just as soon eat peanut butter and jelly for three nights until payday. We were told that we could have it all and we found out that we didn't really want it all.

We just wanted something that matters. To us and to the people we love.

And so, as I watch the trends in my industry begin to change even more I know the "why's" of how things are changing. I know that they are. I know that they must. I know that I am changing too, but I'm not sure into what or into whom.

And that is the question of transformation. We are all being transformed by something. Cultural ideology, societal trends, relationships. So if I'm being transformed into something, I just want that person to become something that matters. Something that has value on a deep and abiding level.

I am no longer a "religious" person having just left the community of believers that were foundational in my thinking for almost 40 years. It's been a difficult transition but a necessary one.

I still believe that there is a God, I just don't think that I know Him all that well. And what's more, I'm not sure He knows me. And that's where I'm trying to focus right now.