Grace

I arrive home late, already dreading what will meet me at the door. Early practice means early dinner and I'm, well, I'm late.

I sped home through the construction ("Follow the orange barrels to progress!") and didn't give my usual nod of approval to the foreman that changes the right hand land every dang day. No wonder people run off the road into the fresh cement! What do they expect!

The mobile phone beeps non-stop, I turn it off, ignoring the last few calls. I failed to get by the store, so dinner will be "interesting" or as my grandmother use to say "Fiesta Night". I'm grumbling, I'm tired, it's only Monday and it feels like Thurday.

Then, I see her. Unobtrusive but elegantly before me. Her white petals turned towards me, reassuringly, comforting. I unclench my teeth, I let go of the wheel, I take my foot off the pedal.

The White Star Magnolia stands magnificently beside my office door and with its sway of the wind, I catch my breath. In spite of my less than patient demeanor I am forced to stop, to wonder, to be amazed again at the small graces that God provides me.

I am so awful at taking time and slowing down. I am so awful at the fine art of life that I am, at times, ashamed of how I may have wasted the first 40 years here on this earth.

But the sight of that tree reminds me that God is patient. He blooms where we fail, He nourishes while we neglect. He needs no reminder of the constancy of the seasons, yet we need every moment the consistency of His Grace.

I have heard countless definitions of "grace". Growing up in a wacky fundamentalist regime, grace was often defined, but rarely experienced. I've come to understand that you cannot define it until you experience it.

Grace stops us in our tracks, forces us to see the world differently, asks the tough questions. I don't know how the white star is able to bloom in spite of plunging temperatures. I don't know how it stays put in the reckless wind that brings tornadoes. I can't imagine what force courses through its being to produce the amazing star light qualities that it has.

But I experience it and like grace, once you experience it, the questions may not go away but they don't seem to matter as much. Grace just IS. In spite off, in addition to, instead of....GRACE. Thank God, quite literally, for it.

Grace is God's reminder to me that He is above my actions, thoughts.
Grace is God's promise to me that He is judging me, no one else.

Grace is God's reckless endowment to allow others to experience this transforming power.

"To embrace the value of idleness...

To see the ordinary gifts of grace" --- Terry Hershey