Surprised by Faith

I'm not sure when it hit me. Maybe it was when the pitch and roll of the boat made me keenly aware of the boiling waters beneath me. Maybe it was when the sails tacked from one side to the other and the boat keeled on one side. Or maybe it was seeing the fish that live in the sea come to parade by us.

Here is this world of which I am not a part. And here I am laying down, sleeping, as the boat cruises at speeds that my car often hits en route home. And I sit there calm, secure, knowing that I'm safe.

How can that be? Me...skeptic of all skeptics! The Queen of Questions lolling on the bow, restful, serene.

How is that I can put my confidence in the expertise of the men at the wheel, in the boat itself? How did that come so easily? With so little thought, really. No big signatures or guarantees. Just a trip to somewhere I've never been in a way that I've never been.

The fact is that I have less experience that I will truly be "OK" in this situation than I have in many things of faith. I have less true knowledge that the knots will hold, that the boat will stay upright, that I can count on those entrusted with my care.

The reality draws me up short because I had thought -- no, I knew that my faith in God was gone. I thought that my trust had evaporated, like ice on the bow of a boat in the heat of the day. Gone. Long gone.

I discover today that it is still there. Because faith is no mystical feeling or goosey sense. It is, quite simply, a decision, much like my decision to walk onto that boat and say, "let's go". A simple act that can alter my life and those around me in simple and profound ways.

And what if that trust is misplaced? What if my trust in the engineering of a ship is faulty and me and others are catapaulted forth to the great gods of the sea?

It's certainly happened before. Not with me, but with countless sea adventures, countless times. But still, there I go, walking onto that ship as if I had the right to return safely to ground.

Why is faith in God so different? Why do I think I need some large guarantee that this trip upon the seas of my life requires so much more definite guarantees? Why is it that I expect more than a simple receipt to show that I'm certifiably now a believer in the God of this world?

Is there some guarantee that God can give me that I'll be placed gently upon shore without so much as a sunburn or quesy stomach? Nope. Hardly. In fact, if I understand things, this trip is going to have its share of rolls and pitches. Maybe even pain. I'm going to get hurt. Others will too.

Like the sailor who points his ship in the direction of where he wants to go, the truth is that that destination will only be reached when there is a light hold on the wheel and that the zig and zags of life will harness the magnificent power to find shore.