Anniversary

I purposefully do not include posts on this blog that relate directly to what I do in my sales career. However, an important milestone has just passed and one that I must note. I am doing that today.

About one year ago, I made some somewhat radical changes in the way that I approached my business. I had been sensing that some changes were needing to be made and had floundered in what exactly it was I needed to change. The first change that always needs to be made is that the leader must discern what needs changing and that change, almost always, is the leader. That is, me.

The only thing more difficult to deal with than failure is success. Success brings its own baggage, its own terrain that one must learn to deal. In fact I think most of us are quite content with failure...its the success that can kill you.

I am coming to understand that healthy, balanced successful people must want what they already hold. Arriving at some destination, regardless of the perks, will not make one more happy, more fun or more of anything. So learning to be comfy in one's own skin is a lifelong, and often difficult, thing to "accomplish".

So about a year ago, I gave up...I gave up a lot of the mundane things that had come to occupy my time, the details that an INTJ can really get into. I began to delegate a lot of that to some associates that were more gifted in some areas than I. I gave careful attention to the things in my life that mattered to my business -- my own personal work -- and started mastering those. Simple things that we all know are important -- customer service, caring about clients, that sort of thing. These are the things that really matter when you own a business and without them you just standing at the till, counting money. These are the things that give heart to the meaning of work.

I began chopping up my day...working with intensity for some of it but taking a lot of time for personal care (gardening! writing! envisioning!) and for the people in my life that really matter -- my kids, my husband.

So, today as I pass this one year mark its important to note..

a - I'm every bit as successful -- and I would say MORE SO, than I was before.
b - I'm more connected to the things that matter in my life..God, my family, the friends that are truly FRIENDS, people that care about me and my own.
c - I have new found passion for what I do...yes, the simple, sacred things that make owning a business truly fulfilling.

Some who work with me have noticed and commented on the change. I'm glad for that, but it's not really the point. The point is...there is no point. There is only God and people and the work that he gives each of us to do, no matter how small, no matter how big. I have rediscovered what it is like to just sit and talk to people, worrying less about a big sale than about hearing a soul.

I think this is a journey that many visionary leaders must travel. It's hard giving up what we think is control, when what we really have are distractions that mask the view of what is so important in this life. I now enjoy the people in which I work more, I have greater energy, I have more "ah-ha" moments.

And I kinda like that. Here's a rundown of what I consciously did to work through a major - mid-life burnout:

a - asked myself "what jazzes me? what drains me?"
b - asked myself what i believed I was really "good" at. And of course, which is so easy for INTJ my long, long list of things that I am not so great at..that was there, too, but I was able to start seeing it differently. I started building on my strengths and while I am a firm believer that we all must grow and become more flexible (after all the INTJ'S mantra is "IMPROVE!!" ), I have to understand that I may never be as good as some things that are are so gifted. So let them do their work! It's why God gave us all different abilities. I realized that I was both hindering myself...and hindering others...by trying to do it all.
c - accepted the past and all its mistakes, honoring what it gave me and what it took. I looked at it squarely in the face and said, "OK, you've had your time...and I'm thankful for that. We've had some good times..but I'm moving in a new place and you need to stay here. " I learned, simply, that I can learn from the past but I cannot live there.

c - connected with the people that wanted something from what I had to give
d - connected with those in my life -- my family, kids, etc. -- that I must nurture and that nurture me.

From time to time, I find myself in a situation where some of the old situations are still a part. I know that for my company, my industry -- like so many in business after 9/11, internet boom, we are still trying to figure out how to "do" business. We are still learning. We have a lot to learn. But one thing is for sure...we have to move forward by giving honor to the past and those that lived it. We must appreciate them and what they gave us. And we must find ways to do that that honor their contributions while being free to move on to new places.

Next week, I travel to Mexico where I will re-visit some of the places -- the beach, etc., where I made a lot of these decisions. And it will be a happy remembering.