Forgiveness

My grandmother is one forgiving woman. She has the ability to love through and through, to see a person in spite of all the stupid things that they might have done. I have watched over the years as she has forgiven people time and time again and done it with graciousness and dignity.

I asked her once, "How do you do that? How can you just let someone off after what they've done to you?"

Her answer still rings true to me. She said, "When you forgive, you aren't letting the other person "off"...you are letting yourself off. You are letting yourself off from revenge, vengence, hate and anger."

At the time I was a saucy teenager who thought I knew everything and had no idea what she was trying to say. After all, teenage angst is part of the growing up process, I had a "right" to my anger.

Many years later, the truth of her words is only now beginning to make sense to me. I don't question the reasons for forgiving, but the "how to" has always eluded me a bit. Today I made a list in my "real" journal on some things that I must forgive. I'm praying for grace in order to do that...because, forgiveness can only come from God. If I try to do it on my own, I will inevitably fail.

I am going to try to take a baby step with acceptance. If I can learn to accept people, situations, then perhaps that is a first step towards the big F.

I hasten to add that God has seen fit to surround me with great forgivers in my life. Perhaps He knew how much I had to learn about this art form and that I needed lots of role modeling. Dan is also one of the great forgivers that I have known. He takes a more pragmatic side of things, though. He just thinks it takes up too much time and energy, which could of course be put to greater use watching March Madness. At least he's consistent.

I really believe there is a power in forgiveness that I don't yet know or understand. I have read the book "The Art of Forgiving" about 10 times and still think it has a lot of great stuff in it. So I'll keep reading, keep watching, keep praying to make forgiveness more part of my life.

And when I fail, as I most often will do, I will pray that those around me can exercise their forgiveness muscles as well.