Thoughts on a Friday Night

The Oklahoma heat has been slamming into me all day as I went about my appointments. My car has become a dustball, my hair has gone limp, my clothes grimy with restaurant grease, sweat and grime.

This is end of the year ---end of the road. In the past two weeks I've put over 1000 miles on my car as I've driven from one end of Dallas, through Denison TX and then back home. In one more week, I'll be re-starting a new year of business.

I'm ready.

This year has brought challenges but more importantly it has brought me nose to nose with myself. I have had to dig deep to find meaning in what was once a simple hobby. I've had to face some demons of doubt (always lingering) some appiritions of fear (never far away) and most of all, my own skepticism in if I could meet the demand.

For the record, I have.

But that's not why I'm celebrating. I'm celebrating because it just feels so damn good to look a fear in the eye and say, "I'm not going to let you define who I am".

For the record, I haven't met the "benchmark" that I had originally set. In fact, I may not even get halfway there. But therein lies the point.

The objective of goals are not always the goals themselves -- but instead the way that goals lead you back to yourself, your abilities, your commitments.

As I've struggled with myself this past few months I've had to take a hard look at myself, my leadership, my lack of skills and my abundance of them. I've had to get really honest with myself on why I do what I do and ask myself, "do I really want to do this for the rest of my life?"

The answer - nope.

Not in the way I have. But in a new way -- a deeper way -- a way with more meaning and more value. I call it "thumbprint leadership".

For me this means the kind of qualities that are central to me as a person and how those qualities (values) will be reflected in my leadership. Here are a few of the central tenets:

a - Accepting others uniqueness
b - Accepting others choices -- even (and mostly) when they disagree with me.
c - Letting go -- of others, situations that need to be parted with in a way that brings harmony to the relationship -- and to myself and that person.
d - Expecting others to "show up" for their mission (but allowing them to define it).
e - Working with passion towards a completed goal.
f - being a "3-D" person -- allowing for all aspects of my personality to be fed. This is mostly made manifest in that I am no longer willing to allow my artistic side to take a back seat. In fact, the creative process is a vital tool I can use to sustain long, dusty roads in my life.
g - being clear in the "real" goal. The goal for me can no longer be simply a paycheck, a bauble, an achievement...but it must be something that brings value to another person.

These are the central themes that I have defined that are critical for my definition of success. For me, these are the ways that I can gain authenticity in my leadership and in my life.