Surprised by Faith

I'm not sure when it hit me. Maybe it was when the pitch and roll of the boat made me keenly aware of the boiling waters beneath me. Maybe it was when the sails tacked from one side to the other and the boat keeled on one side. Or maybe it was seeing the fish that live in the sea come to parade by us.

Here is this world of which I am not a part. And here I am laying down, sleeping, as the boat cruises at speeds that my car often hits en route home. And I sit there calm, secure, knowing that I'm safe.

How can that be? Me...skeptic of all skeptics! The Queen of Questions lolling on the bow, restful, serene.

How is that I can put my confidence in the expertise of the men at the wheel, in the boat itself? How did that come so easily? With so little thought, really. No big signatures or guarantees. Just a trip to somewhere I've never been in a way that I've never been.

The fact is that I have less experience that I will truly be "OK" in this situation than I have in many things of faith. I have less true knowledge that the knots will hold, that the boat will stay upright, that I can count on those entrusted with my care.

The reality draws me up short because I had thought -- no, I knew that my faith in God was gone. I thought that my trust had evaporated, like ice on the bow of a boat in the heat of the day. Gone. Long gone.

I discover today that it is still there. Because faith is no mystical feeling or goosey sense. It is, quite simply, a decision, much like my decision to walk onto that boat and say, "let's go". A simple act that can alter my life and those around me in simple and profound ways.

And what if that trust is misplaced? What if my trust in the engineering of a ship is faulty and me and others are catapaulted forth to the great gods of the sea?

It's certainly happened before. Not with me, but with countless sea adventures, countless times. But still, there I go, walking onto that ship as if I had the right to return safely to ground.

Why is faith in God so different? Why do I think I need some large guarantee that this trip upon the seas of my life requires so much more definite guarantees? Why is it that I expect more than a simple receipt to show that I'm certifiably now a believer in the God of this world?

Is there some guarantee that God can give me that I'll be placed gently upon shore without so much as a sunburn or quesy stomach? Nope. Hardly. In fact, if I understand things, this trip is going to have its share of rolls and pitches. Maybe even pain. I'm going to get hurt. Others will too.

Like the sailor who points his ship in the direction of where he wants to go, the truth is that that destination will only be reached when there is a light hold on the wheel and that the zig and zags of life will harness the magnificent power to find shore.

Everyone remember their first time...here’s the ship I took in PV for my first sailing tour.  

First mate, "Horche". Fun and smiles and great food. www.vallarta-adventures.com

I'm sitting on the bow of the ship, speeding along...WOW! I love this! My next house will be a boat. 

Here's our captain, "Arnold", which is a mariner's answer to George Lopez. Funny and smart he taught us about sailing. How you have to focus on the target but you have to zig and zag...can't go in a straight line...hmmm, there's more to this sailing story than I thought.

Can't see it too well, but here is a mantle ray (sp?) which is a type of shark. These were in several places. 

Here I am "driving"...While on the trip I saw three dolphins, some kind of shark and sardines. Sardines are really strange when they are swimming..from the ship it looks like boiling water, skittering on top of the surface. 

"Two sheets to the wind.." takes on a whole new meaning after my sailing experience. What incredible speed! I learned all kinds of new words.."tack", "starboard", "port" and of course, "where's the banos". Too much speed, maybe?

I'm sailing! My first sailing experience on the Pacific Ocean. I'm completely hooked!  

This is me after being in the sun all day :) 

This little guy stopped by to say hello this morning..I was thrilled.  

Down by the sea, I snapped this shot of the water.  

Thoughts on Grace

Here’s the truth:

We can’t change anything until we love it.

We can’t love anything until we can know it.

We can’t know anything until we can embrace it.

This is the view from my villa. After a long day of traveling it was wondeful to relax in a warm hot tub and a fabulous massage. Today I'm going to check out the art gallery distric and see what treasures I find. Tomorrow, SAILING!  

Surf and Surf

I'm surfing the net by the ocean. Outside my room is boganvilia and I'm getting ready for dinner with the world's best guacamole. I'm looking forward to a few days of R & R. Tomorrow I'll take in art galleries and fun shopping, Friday I'm SAILING and then at the beach all day on Saturday. I plan to get lots of sun, do a lot of writing. I'll post pics later of some of the things I'm seeing.

It's tough for me to stop and rest, especially after Ellen fractured a foot last night, Dan is looking for a job and Nathan has his first prom date this Saturday. However, when is a good time to rest? And rest for me sustains me and without it I really come undone. So Dan practically forced me onto the plane because of my protests. I'm glad he did! More to come.

Next stop: PV, Mexico

It's official...I take my first sailing lesson later this week in the beautiful waters off Puerta Vallarta, Mexico. This has been a goal of mine for a long time. It's on my list of "things to do before I die, along with writing a novel, jumping out of a plane and assorted other ridiculous ideas.

I've bought my requisite materials and supplies. Windbreaker, sunscreen, the right kind of shoes.

Maybe I should research it more. Maybe I should sit my family down and review all the things that I'm going to do. Maybe I should read a book about it! Maybe I should interview others about how they do it.

Though I've done a bit of all the above, the truth of the matter is, you can't learn to sail by standing on the bank reading about it. And so, on Friday, I'll go down to the marina and take my first sailing lesson.

It's scary. Maybe I won't like it. Maybe I will puke everywhere. Maybe I'll tie the knots all wrong, maybe, maybe, maybe..

I stand a great chance of failing spectacularly at this. After all, I'm an OKIE. I'm more at home in a garden than in water. Water usually falls on okies...we don't go floating in it (unless it's April and there's been a big storm).

The reality is, I'm not getting any younger and if I'm going to do this thing, I better get going. In spite of the fierce realities that I won't really be a great sailor, I'll never be worse.

What's just beyond this bridge? Where does this trail lead? Do I go down this path or circle back and retreat? Do I camp out here, wondering what I should do? The image of a bridge is a great metaphor for those in my age group -- we are holding onto the generations -- those past as our parents, our families and we reach out towards those that to come. We can bridge those generations or we can not. The only thing we cannot do is to stay where we are. If the generation coming has a "great abyss" in which to explore, we then, are those that bridge that abyss. Or maybe we point the way for the One that does.

Gardner's Journal: Embraced by a garden

I arrive home and am greeted by the new entrance garden that Dan and I created together. It warms my soul just to see the bright pinks, the indigo's and the golden shower blooms just beginning to peek out.

But there is so much more to see! Two days and the garden is robust with new colors and the first roses to bloom this year. Dan, myself, and kids tour the garden...it's bursting this year!

Dan and I sit on the porch watching Nathan and Ellen on the trampoline. They have really mastered their flips -- back, front, side to side...kinda scary to watch them go. As I sit there, I here the "turtle" fountain behind the swing, I feel Dan next to me. I hear my kids laugh, I smell the garden and the earth starting to come alive. This is a sacred moment, not planned, not repeatable, when all the earth says to me, "welcome home".

My "knock'out". This is Ellen with a "knock out" rose in her hair. The rose pales in comparison to her! 

First roses to bloom! This is "wild spice" (white) paried with "bonica". Wild Spice is a rugosa rose which has extremely interesting foliage...it's leaves are kind of "zig zagged" and its flowers are wispy and delicate. Spring is now officially here! Over the next two weeks there will be blooms everywhere in the garden.  

This is a shot of our garden from the pergola. From here you can se the arbor to the rose garden. Just to the left is a small pond...far left is where more roses, perennials are. 

Indian Paintbrush along Hwy 75.